According to bisexual stereotyping, bi girls are easy to sleep with but difficult to trust.
2 part podcast episode on bisexual erasure:
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I like this girl but she likes guys and girls and she’s already my best friend what do i do to make things less awkward when I confess to her or should i leave it like that but never know what could have happened pls help
I’m scared to date a girl because I just broke up with my boyfriend and a lot of boys at our school think in there head if she dates a girl she gay.i don’t think that any boys would want to go out with me because of my sexuality they might think it’s wrong or nasty cause people talk about my friend who is bi they say oh how she turn sraight to bi to gay and she’s not even gay.i don’t want rumors to go around. What should I do?
particually i think its a problem of not talking about the personal borders before relationship. i know this sometimes is challanging, while having a big crush you sometimes acept things you might get uncomfortable with later in a certain situation. a relationship usually is evolving. and I think reaching a level of absolute trust is a beautiful thing, but not mandatory. and sure, your partner doesn't own you. and everyone is responsible for the own feelings. but both of you are equally responsible for the relationship. and not sharing a bed with other people is usually a silently done agreement when starting a love-based monogamic relationship. its a legit expectation. who knows, the partners fear might even be entitled. well, talk about it and respect the feelings of your partner. but don't try to persuade like this video does. if its common and legit for you to share a bed with friends, no mather which sexual orientation, than usually you would be ok with him sharing a bed with a female friend. if its not ok for you, than you might have a paradox trust issue and should definetly both review your agreements and expectations on your relationship.
I am a woman who doesn‘t really know what she is on the spectrum (let‘s be real) but anyways used to date a guy (now is dating a woman more successfully, but that coulda just been him...). At the time I knew I was attracted to women and felt attracted to men as well, but my boyfriend sorta figured as I‘d only had a crush on a girl and never actually been with one that it was just a „girl crush“ which I didn‘t feel like it was. Let alone the fact that I had never been with a guy before, so how was I supposed to know I liked guys anyways? It bothered me that he didn‘t believe me or felt uncomfortable about it and needed to deny it to feel safe or something and I never knew quite how to bring up the subject without sounding like I was interested in people other to him, which I wasn‘t, at least not in a more than normal way of just general attraction. Luckily my girlfriend now knows everything and is totally cool with it and I don‘t need to hold back if we are watching a movie or something and I find a guy cute or whatever, though admitedly I am more likely to do it about a woman, but just cause that‘ll make for more of a conversation than „If you say so.“ Lesbians, honestly. 😉
As a life-long bisexual myself, I disagree with your advice for the Bisexual girl who is intending to share a bed with her lesbian friend. It's not fair to say he is being judgemental of her sexuality or that he is thinking she is attracted to all women. If she were a straight girl, and planning to share a bed with her plutonic male bestie overseas, I don't think he would be unreasonable for being uncomfortable with that. Even if her boyfriend trusts her not to cheat, he is probably concerned that the friend might make a move on her during the trip. I don't think a Bi girl sharing a bed with a lesbian should be any different than a bit girl sharing a bed with a straight guy. In fact, it goes to show that he takes both lesbians and his bisexual girlfriend's sexuality seriously. My advice to her would be to ask herself how much trust she actually needs from him and if she is ever going to get it. Would he trust her and her lesbian friend more if he spent more time with both of them? Maybe he could trust them with something like that in the future but not at this point. Maybe he would never be okay with it. She needs to ask herself if she would rather have a guy who doesn't mind her sharing a bed with boys, because it's essentially the same thing. Those men are out there, but they are certainly not common and there's nothing wrong with a man who isn't ok with it. He just might not be the right man for her.
There are ways to share a bed with someone without it leading to anything. I've slept the same bed with many of my best friends, and we usually had separate pillows and blankets and we would sometimes sleep with one person's head being at one end with the other person's head at the other. You could also have a cot that hides under the bed where one could sleep. With relationships, you have to have trust and LOTS of communication. You can't blame your discomfort on your partners sexual orientation. If I were to go abroad with one of my best friends who happen to be lesbian and we were to cut costs by sharing a bed, my husband would be completely fine with it. He trusts me and my friend because he KNOWS that just because I'm Pansexual and my friend is lesbian, DOESN'T mean we're sexually attracted to each other. Sure, I find a lot of my friends attractive, but I see them as a friend and even family than someone I want to hook up with. Common sense people. 💁
Um im a straight male but i don’t really like how this video is almost attacking the poor guy. I think it’s totally fair to not be comfortable with it because i wouldn’t be comfortable with my partenr sleeping in the same bed with someone she could potentially attracted to. Like if i had a straight girlfriend and she was in a bed with another straight guy no way in hell would i be comfortable and that why i always talk with my pansexual girlfriend when she goes on trips with friends just as a comformation kinda talk
Me and my friend both like to different people we asked them out but they said no we asked them why and they went out with each other and are now married me and my friend are still single so they were are soul mates
I can understand where he is coming from, but any strong relationship is built upon trust. I am bi myself, but if my boyfriend was sharing a bed with someone like she was I would assume that he would have enough self control to behave.
The dragon age franchise actually shows bisexuality in a rather good light (Although the bisexuals in Dragon age origins are not prime examples as they can engage in a foursome at one point) in the second game there were four bisexual romances in the game, and only one charecter fit the horrid steriotype (she was also a member of the foursome above) And dragon age inquisition's bisexual characters do not hold to the stereotype at all (although only one visibly shows bisexuality without pursuing the romance)
Help me. I'm a straight guy and I have a friend that is a girl bisexual. She always wants me on her side, and sometimes I think that she likes me. Well I like her too. But she had girlfriends. I'm really confused about her. What should I do? I really feel that she wants to have sex with me. But she don't dare to make a move, me too because I'm too confused. We always hang out with each other. Please tell me what to do.
I found this video while trying to understand my fear of being with a bi girl, how do straight guys with bi girlfriends cope with knowing that they can’t satisfy their girlfriend’s bi fantasies. Personally it really scares me that she will want to experiment with other girls while we are in a relationship because I fear she will feel like she is missing out.
Okay, I know I'm pretty old, but I guess I can venture an opinion based on observations.
The best description of a bisexual I've ever come across was told to me by a bisexual woman: "it's a certain chemistry that happens, and I don't know whether it'll happen with a man or woman."
From observation, the reason bisexuals (women more often than men) are...viewed with distrust and suspicion is that their partner has to watch for interaction with both genders. It's not that the partner thinks something is inevitable, but it's prudent to watch for what *potentially* could happen. With bisexuals, this is *potentially* anyone. With straight or homosexual people, the partner only has to watch interactions with one gender for *potential* trouble signs.
Basically, I think it's probably just too much work for the partner of a bisexual to have to deal with. And, by the way, the boyfriend has a legitimate concern. You shouldn't dismiss it in such an offhand manner.
Tbh I think the most misrepresented/underrepresented LGBTQ+ identities are transgenderism, genderqueerness,and asexuality,and pansexuality. Specifically transgenderism and asexuality. At least I see some representation of bisexuals in media. I see almost no representation of asexual and very poor representation of trans people whether FTM or MTF.
I have a boyfriend so if a girl likes me people say “ oh she’s straight “ and I’m just like “ oh um about that “ I’m not fully out I have only given a couple people a few hints so people are just confused 😂 I make it so obvious tho!! Fml
I have a crush on a totally straight guy and he’s always calling me a half-lesbian or half-gay because I’m bisexual. And my lesbian friends call me greedy because I “can’t pick a side”. I like girls and I like guys what’s the big deal?
Bi women think they are entitled to cheat on men.. Admit it, I have seen it so often. They always seem to think it's OK to eat some pussy and I've even heard bi women say there man can't get in the 3 some but he can watch the carpet munching and jerl off I guess
marlon green yes like if she would just be open to 3 some then I would be happy to be with her and be a loyal boyfriend but since she wants to be greedy I can't get w that. I was very attracted to a bi girl but once she said I can only watch them and not get involved I was furious. I then asked so if I was bi can I bring a guy home and u can watch only... She said we'll no that means ur gay and I ain't w no gay men... Lolol even though I'm not gay I was shocked at the double standard that she can be gay and have affairs but the guy has to stay put and not allowed to touch any other girls,
Bono Milf Yep majority are double standard whores. I dealt with that exact situation was talking to this girl and she said the same thing about threesomes. Sadly majority of American women our bi thanks to the media and porn 😒.
Me and my boyfriend broke up because I myself am BISEXUAL! I don't understand. We broke up the day I told him. Which was YESTERDAY. I am starting to think maybe I shouldn't have. But then again.. he wasn't really that into me. Well, at least it didn't seem like it.
My best friend’s boyfriend told her that we weren’t allowed to sleep in her bed because she is bi (I am too but wasn’t open and out about it at that time). We have been best friends forever and she’s like a sister to me- I’m not sexually attracted to her at all! That has never been a second thought to either of us. Since I found out he said that I’m all super paranoid every time he’s around that he will assume we are flirting or “too close” instead of just bantering and acting like BFFs. I agree with the media issue. Bi individuals are treated as going through a phase or as creepy and fickle. I adore Callie Torres on Grey’s Anatomy- they got that right so major props!
This is great and a good way to explain sexuality in general. Identifying with a sexuality does not make the person. Also, sharing a bed with a person's friend, regardless of their sexuality, should be discussed if it makes someone uncomfortable. But, just because a bisexual has a gay bestfriend it doesn't mean they don't value monogamy.
Yes. Trust your girlfriend. Being attracted to multiple genders doesn't mean that she is attracted to everyone. It also doesn't mean she's going to stop loving you if she does see someone else who is attractive. Do you cheat when you see another attractive woman walk by? Probably not. So the same is more than likely true of her.
I once dated a bi girl. People used to ask me if I am bi. Joking around I would say oh yeah, but I'm not. I was being facetious which is something that I am frequently known to do. I guess I understand how it can happen for a girl, but the sight of another dude just makes the ole monkey shrivel up like a dried up prune. I could NEVER get an E-RECT from looking at a male. In fact, the nude male makes me think of a vat of vomit. LOL. I really don't know how some people do it. But I will be facetious at times because I have a huge sense of humor. Much like the ole E-RECT TILE DYSFUNCTION act. It is works great in repelling the not so attractive type if you know what I mean, but the truth is that I have no issues like that and never really did. LOL. If I am trying to get rid of stalker, I have dysfunction, but if a hot looking female comes on to me, well...LOL. I'm a relaxed guy. No hate baby!
As a bisexual women, I hate being classified as a “hyper-sexual person” because I’m not. I do not want to sleep with everyone. I have standards and types. Whether I’m sharing a bed with a guy or girl it doesn’t matter. Just because I’m attracted to both genders, doesn’t mean I’m attracted to that person.
Why can't you be one or the other??? Whys it got to be both, like your only dating one person.......I assume, right??? Like I respect Bi, but in a relationship, you either with a guy or a girl, if you're not in a relationship then you're considered Bi, thats just the way I see it, this happened to me before, saying your Bi while you are in a relationship, idk how I feel about that, there is a level of trust, loyalty and anxiety being played here when you state you are Bi in a relationship. Anyways I fully respect Bi I mean no harm or fowl and if there was, I'm sorry, I simply just don't understand why is all, thanks for reading.
It's about attraction not relationship status. Just like how a straight person's attraction to the opposite gender never changes or a gay person's attraction to the same gender never changes a bisexual person will always like more than one gender. It wouldn't make them inherently disloyal. Like a straight person in a relationship wouldn't stop being loyal while happening to find someone attractive. They just wouldn't act on it.
And it's okay. I'm glad you're just trying to learn. :)
This is why I'll never date a bisexual woman. Her level of sexual compatibility extends to both men and women. With a straight man or straight female, you wouldn't have to worry much about anything sexual happening between them if they slept in a bed with one of their friends of the same sex. With a bisexual however, since they're sexually aroused by both sexes, spending months on end with either a male/female friend is problematic. It's the same as letting your straight boyfriend sleep in bed with his female best friend for months on end, or letting your straight girlfriend do the same with her male best friend. I'm sorry, but bisexuality is just too much for me and any other sensible male out there.
Thank you so much for this clip, Cristen! I have a dear, straight female friend, married recently to a straight cis male who is going overseas to Poland and Russia for six months with a fellow PhD candidate to work on their (individual, but related) theses on the evolution of the baroque violin actually occurring in Poland (not Italy, as popularly conceived, a whole other story). This fellow candidate is cis female bisexual, extremely attractive by mainstream standards, models part time, has known my husband since childhood, and they both arrest to having a long-standing platonic friendship. In fact, their mothers got acquainted in adjacent beds at maternity hospital. He says she is like a sister to him, and when pressed, the thought of a physical encounter with her is repulsive. My friend does not believe a word of it. Her husband and his co-candidate will be sharing a two bunk bed postgraduate dorm room in Poland to save money (but their own bunk) and the same in Russia, but for personal security reasons they claim, as she attracts a lot of unwanted male attention, even back here. My friend the wife is being devoured with jealousy, and says it is not her husband's job to be live-in bodyguard for his model friend. As the situation is analogous to Caitlin's story. I have referred my friend to your channel, and advised her not to stereotype her husband's bisexual co-candidate, and anyway, they will only share a room, not a bed.
This is a topic that sits right at my door. My wife and I got married about a year and a half ago, and unbeknown to me she had a lover from quite some years back. Well, they conspired to let me know this in the best possible way. I was shocked at first and I was afraid to perhaps lose my wife. The girlfriend then moved in about six months after my wife and I got married. To cut a longe story out, I learned to slide into this relationship sexually. To get to the point that I want to say in respect of this video is that they literally pulled the mat out of under my feet with the next suggestion. First of all, I have never been with a man nor have I been attracted to a man, only perhaps when I wished I could have a body and be as handsome like a lot of dudes are. They suggested that I get involved in our already "out of the ordinary" sexual life, which I am now used to. I am now really fighting with this idea, as I will most probably have to get a gay dude to blow me off first and then I do not know, fuck.
I'm a bisexual girl (well bi-romantic and homosexual, but bisexual for simplicity) who shared a room with 3 straight girls for a year. One of them knew I was bi and didn't feel threatened by my sexuality at all. I never discussed my sexuality with the other 2. I was also in a long-term romantic relationship with an asexual heteroromantic guy. We never kissed, and we never had sex. We were a public couple; everyone knew we were dating: we would go on dates, go to each other's houses, hang out with the other's family and friends, cook food for each other, have hours long phone conversations when we were apart, hug each other, and hold hands. There was no tension because neither of us had sexual expectations for the other. We were dating, we were best friends, we loved each other, and we were monogamous with each other. This is what bisexuality can look like in real life. It's not scary. It's not risky.
To everyone around us, we looked like a typical straight couple, but both of us are on the LGBTQIA spectrum whether we realized it at the time or not.
When some random boys found out I was bi, they started to call me lesbian, I kept telling them that's not what I was/am, but they kept calling me that. This sucks being a child, with that sexuality, I'm just glad they kinda forgot about it...
and you wonder why bi women are always are the victim of domestic abuse . got yourself a man stay away from women and the same goes for the bi guys, If you want to keep your old lady stop talking about men
It’s a trust issue. I’m straight and I would feel uncomfortable with my partner sleeping in the same bed on a long term basis with another male that’s a friend. Does this mean I think she’s a attracted to all men? No. I would just feel threatened if the possibility of romance starting especially with us being apart and them close. We would have to have a conversation and I’d have to be reassured that she’s not attracted to that guy before I’d be comfortable with it. I’d say it’d be the same with her being bi-sexual - I think (at least it would be for me) that he’s more threatened by the distance they’d be experiencing versus the closeness they’d be experiencing. It’s the same as if it were a strait couple and the partner was sleeping in the same bed of the opposite sex; it will take a lot of trust.
My ex come out to me as bi curious and it makes me uncomfortable but I don’t have problems with gay or bi people but maybe it’s because I still have feelings for her idk but it makes me feel weird. Is this a bad thing?
I feel like generally, if you like the gender your going to be sharing a _bed with._
Like, imagine you were straight, and you went to study abroad, and sleep in THE SAME BED with a guy! That's not bisexual eraser, that's just generally something any partner would be worried about.
If it makes him uncomfortable he has right, if my partner were sleeping in the same bed of the someone who is attracted to there gender and they were attracted to there gender.
I really do not think it's bisexual eraser, it's just a nervous boyfriend, who loves you alot, and is worried about you.
I'd like to tell you I'm absolutely as bi as it can get, and I feel like your the one in the wrong here, even if he being a bit too defensive that's not really an excuse to pull the biphobia card.
The guy has all the right to be concerned if his bi gf is gonna share the same room with a lesbian, especially out of the state. I have had people tell me about their partners sleeping over with their bff and end up having sex together.
I think you bisexual people are simply on a much more higher level of consciousness than us, str8s. Your love is gender irrelevant while i only fall in love with women. I feel spiritually limited,but cant change it.
As a 13 year old bisexual girl,it upsets me that people think of us as greedy and will cheat on them...I want to live in a world where I can be equal and actually be able to date who I want without being taken the piss out of, I just watched a video-is it ok to date a bisexual person? and they said so long as they didn't cheat on you...but what about straight people doesn't the same go to them...why do people think this of us? I've already been beaten up by a girl and a boy because of my sexuality and I didn't talk to anybody for a week, I felt insecure and alone, but my friends are very supportive of me and most of them are part of LGBTQ to, I am eternally grateful to have them 😊❤ x
I'm a bisexual male. I came out to my now fiancé but we haven't really talked about it all that much since I came out. Aside from when I had to reassure her that I'm not actually gay and that I'm not leaving her for a man. We did talk about it later and I told her that when she thought that I was leaving her or that I'm gay ; that it hurt. She was plenty perceptive and apologized. I just can't shake the feeling that she doesn't quite approve though.
I'm pansexual. So close enough 😂 most relationships I've had males are uncomfortable and most females won't date me.
Men think.. all I want is either threesomes or I'm cheating on them. 😂 I've been told I'm not allowed to hang out with girl FRIENDS alone Bc I'm probably going to cheat. WHAT?!?
I've had some women say they can't date me either Bc they think I can't make up my mind, I'll cheat on them, or eventually I'll want to have kids and leave them for a man.
Just wanna say a couple of things, which is basically what you said. Just Bc I'm pansexual/bisexual, it does not mean I'm going to cheat on you, it does not mean I haven't made up my mind, it does not mean that I want threesomes, it does not mean I'll eventually leave you for a male.
I'm so sick of the stereotypes for bisexual and pansexual women.
Thank you, rant over 😂
my ex-boyfriend was out of aaaall the people I came out to, tho only one who acted like a complete jerk. He told me like at least once a week "I'm still not cool with you being bisexual" and even tho I didn't had even one lgbt friend at all at that time, he was jealous about everything. And he became the biggest controllfreak I couldn't breath anymore, so I left. Any even now He acts like a stalker and I try to avoid him as good as possible
As a female queer person I like both boys and girls I was always wandering if there are any male bisexuals in the comments. I mean how come we think that a bisexual is a label mostly for girls? That's stupid to say the least... And the truth is i would really like to meet a bisexual guy....