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Shy vs. Social Anxiety

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Cristen highlights five significant differences between shyness and social anxiety, or social phobia. Share this on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/16kQO09 Share this on Twitter: http://ctt.ec/e_Vut Subscribe: http://bit.ly/1l8JXv3 On the web: http://www.stuffmomnevertoldyou.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/momstuffpodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StuffMomNeverToldYou Google+: http://bit.ly/1kNchOQ Tumblr: http://stuffmomnevertoldyou.tumblr.com/ Instagram: http://instagram.com/stuffmomnevertoldyou# Sources: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/news/science-news/2011/national-survey-dispels-notion-that-social-phobia-is-the-same-as-shyness.shtml http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2011-08-09/shyness-and-social-anxiety http://psychfaculty.gmu.edu/kashdan/publications/Kashdan%20Mcknight%20%282010%29%20The%20Darker%20Side%20of%20Social%20Anxiety%20Curr%20Dir%20Psy%20Sci.pdf http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMbkrev59108 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19028075 Join Cristen to get down to the business of being a woman and all the Stuff Mom Never Told You about bodies, boys and the female brain.
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Text Comments (4126)
hanan zamani (1 day ago)
hang up the phoOoOoOoOoOone
Bee Mull (1 day ago)
Thank you for the great resources here. I had dealt with low self-esteem attacks, panic attacks, fear of busy places, and fear of intimacy for years. I became a hermit in my house. My family begged me to get help but I couldn't fathom talking to a stranger. Finally, I came across a social anxiety, panic attack reprograming set of videos. I can say with confidence now that I am at least 60% better. I can even get through major department stores without an attack incident. This helped https://bit.ly/2D4Mjg5
Smilla (1 day ago)
I´m 13 years old and I have Social Phobia and anxiety disorder and I try to live with it every day. I can't control it, so my psychologist helps me. It is really hard to live with it but I will do my best to get rid of it. Hope you understand my English haha. I'm from Sweden
Andre Cameron (3 days ago)
I don't know weather I am shy or just bad socially. But lately I tell myself to start saying yes I am a in my mid (30). And I don't go any were. So now I say yes to invitations. Witch I get alot
Igniz (7 days ago)
It's all due to masturbation and sex Stop these two things and you will feel better
Neko Chan (8 days ago)
When I'm talking to people I feel like my heart freezes and I can't breathe
eiqa Lavigne (9 days ago)
I always feels tired and got headache around people. I never talk, just sit and watch they talking but it so painful to watch them. I just hope the time goes really fast and i can relieves myself. Is that social anxiety?
Amory Maracle (10 days ago)
I'm not sure what end of the spectrum I fall in. I avoid social situations most of the time because when I'm in them I get stressed out about what to say and how I'm being perceived. I can barely focus on what others are saying because of all the worrying going on inside me or my mind just kind of blanks out. I will then find any excuse to leave. I'm lonely and losing hope for myself. I don't think I'm shy I think social situations produce a reaction in me that is unfavorable and prevents me from enjoying them.
Elle Jones (10 days ago)
I understand that there's a lot of people on here trying to know if they do have social anxiety. Ngl, I am one of them. I need help. Here are my symptoms: 1) I FREAK when ordering food. Went to a Chip shop and asked the guy, "excuse me." He didn't here and I panicked so I just said hey really loudly. I only went to the chip shop in the first place because my parents told me to and wouldn't take no for an answer. 2) I've had to slowly learn conversation. 3) I have to remember to make eye contact. 4) I have to physically FORCE myself to talk to someone new, 5) I write out my phone calls before I make them, and I've only done 3 phone calls in my life (I'm 15) and no one else can be listening when I do them. 6) in conversations, I always have to think really carefully about what I'm saying and how it comes across. 7) It makes me so scared being in large crowds. 8) I refuse to go in small shops (like a bakery) because they're just too small and I feel like I'm being judged and I'm too close to the till person. Does that make any sense!? 9) I find it so hard going to social events. And yet, I love dancing so long as it's dark, no ones watching or I have someone to dance with. (My best friend (I only have 1)) 10) I hate walking along main roads because I feel like everyone is watching. 11) I'm always conscious of What people are thinking of me. 12) I dip dyed my hair bright pink once and felt physically ill and a nervous wreck when I went to school with it, but I have since dyed my whole head pink and experienced those feelings on a lower level because I convinced myself to stuff people's opinions. 13) I cry when I have to go to a social event that I really don't want to go to. And will often spend time on the toilet before bigger social events. I would SO appreciate any help you can offer, you don't even understand how helpful it would be to get a second opinion.
Vanessa Gomez (10 days ago)
i remember going to an acquaintances party like two years ago. i knew some people from highschool, and some people were strangers. i went alone and wasn't close at all with anyone, so i had no one to turn to. i gave the birthday girl flowers and ran around the party like chicken with its head cut off cause i didn't know what to do. i went to the bathroom several times and i just ended up leaving. i was soooo so uncomfortable
Quinton Johnson (10 days ago)
I can't go to shops alone or order stuff alone it just gets awkward for me and I can't pronounce stuff right half of the time. Also when I have to talk to people I don't know I might get a mental break down and its just weird and alward for me.
Walker Of The Skies (13 days ago)
I'm not shy but I do have social anxiety
Patricia the booke (14 days ago)
I have social anxiety for sure.
C C (14 days ago)
I don't have social anxiety and was curious about what this subject is. Anyone who has this should just not think about the next social happening. Be spontaneous more often. Thinking too much hinders fun talks. Being spontaneous and not think about the situation will help you grow. No one will hate you if you make a mistake, if they do they are not even worth your emotions. It makes me sad seeing people not go on with life or that they cannot do what they want because something hinders them. Another recommendation besides not thinking too much and being more spontaneous is working in retail, hospitality and customer service. Like work in the retail as a side job or student job. I disliked the phone when I was a kid because I couldnt see the other person and didnt know how to react but doing it more often made me get used to not knowing who the other person is and how they look like. Also be patient, dont give up when you dont see immediate results. Good luck!
Quick story: so ummm In my 9th grade year when second semester started I missed the first day. My geography teacher gave out a project and he kept saying it was two test grades. I was so afraid to say that I wasn’t there to get it so I ended up not doing it and getting two major F’s. Then I had an internal conflict for a month beating myself up and uhhh yeah... I don’t really know if that goes into shyness or social anxiety
C C thank you 😊 I’ve been trying to speak up for myself more. Although it is difficult to do certain things, I try.
C C (14 days ago)
I think thatd be social anxiety. You should stand up for yourself and not accept those 2 F's. Between choosing not to say or say it is obvious which you shouldve chosen. But this has happened already so dont be harsh to yourself too much. Just see it as a point for improvement and learn from it
c0 m1çx! (16 days ago)
Someone ever get that feeling when the teacher picks on you to answer a question in class? Then you start going red and start sweating non-stop. Yeah...I hate that feeling
Charice isfun (17 days ago)
Im scared to even start conversations with my relatives back in india whenever I came to visit them from canada. Id sit in one cormer and not say anything and they'd think I didnt know hindi since I acted like I didnt know what their saying but they didnt get I am trying to avoid talking to them CAUSE I CANT LIKE WHYS IT SO FUCKINGJSJS. When I try to talk with kids it just doesnt work out and my cousins my same age talk non stop and then im just their nodding my head like whys my life like this.
Ayame Tsukika (18 days ago)
I think i'm right in the middle, where it's not exactly social anxiety, but not just shyness either, because while i do avoid some social situations i usually just go with it. But when i do go with it i'm constantly thinking of what people think of me and if i'm alone (i would probably not go if i'm alone tbh) i will not talk to anybody. At all. I just. No But i can be really outgoing if i'm with some friends, and my thoughts go like this: "if i'm rejected or i do something awkward i can just laugh it off with my friend like 'that was so awkward holy shit' and then everything will be fine" which helps a lot I might overthink everything i've done afterwards though *shrug * Like this one time i wanted to break off a verbal fight like the girls were really mad at eachother and i just walked up to them (one if my friends was there too) and i just said "this fight is going nowhere please stop it's not helping any of you" and the girl said that it' not my business and i still think about it like damn it really wasn't why did i talk to them they probably think i'm weird and annoying ha ha hahah :DDD Anyway
Aru La (19 days ago)
I can‘t even open the door when the postman rings. When the doorbell rings, I start sweating and I can‘t move.
Rachel W (21 days ago)
i know i’m super late to this video but i don’t know if i have social anxiety or not. you tell me please !! i was suppose to hang out with this guy and we had plans for about a week. during this week i was so nervous and couldn’t stop think about it and whenever i thought about it my heart would race and it felt like there was something in my throat. i ended up canceling the day before because i was so nervous. i can’t talk in front of new people and even ordering food scares me and makes my heart race. idk if i’m just shy maybe? i was never like this before i use to be very outgoing and talkative. idk
Kian Kolahzadeh (22 days ago)
I think I have social anxiety and it's really scary. I just started secondary school and I am small and Asian. This makes it so hard because I know people are judging me, I would be walking to my next class then a group of 14-16 year olds will walk past me silently then once they have walked past they will start laughing their heads off. It's also so stressful in The changing rooms for PE. It's already bad talking to people but then I have to take my clothes off in front of them!
Silmi Hanifah (23 days ago)
anyone has solutions to overcome SAD?, please share, I do need a help
Suga Kookie (23 days ago)
For me if you don't start a conversation it won't happen. It takes me an hour to order over the phone. If I order out and they something out of the script in my head and begin to panic all while trying not to show I'm panicking. I hate reading out loud cause I didn't practice the right tone of voice to use. I rather text you then talk on the phone cause with text I can always go back before pressing send. On two occasions I saw these two really sexy guys and bc I wanted to talk to them I ran away from them. I think everyone is watching me and judging me from the splash of hazel hair on my head to the speck on my shoe lace. Social anxiety is something that determines every thing I do when it comes to human interaction. It sucks but at least I'm not dead.
Niamh McGowan (23 days ago)
uh im 17 and i dont answer the phone
kinley zangmo (24 days ago)
" lost friends and opportunities to make friends just.cause i was too afraid to speak "
Luvkid Nash (24 days ago)
@6:04 What do I? ummm don't go out side.
Kiwi :3 (25 days ago)
Whenever i get invited to something social I either make up an excuse not to go or my mom makes me go or I'm just already comfortable with those people. For inatance just going to school makes me feel nauseous but it's gotten better since when it started because my friend distracts me from it. Also when I'm with my friends depending on who they are and where we are it boosts my confidence a bit. My parents look down on me for being shy and introverted 😢
So im guessing were all introverts here
Moldy Boy (28 days ago)
Im too scared being near people unless im with my friend.
Xox Girls (28 days ago)
I was always a shy kid, I used to have many friends when I was a kid but it got harder to make friends in grade 6 but I wasn’t socially anxious yet. It was 8th grade that ruined me, when people started judging every single detail about me and point out my flaws in front of me, telling me to get rid of them or fix them. That’s when I became socially anxious, I started to feel terrible, ugly, worthless, disgusting and imperfect. I started trying to be like others so I can be “perfect” I started to become extremely self conscious. I still am, but I’m trying to accept myself. It just makes me sad that some people had the actual guts to tell me to fix myself, to tell me that I’m ugly in every way. Before all those comments, I used to love and accept compliments, I believed them and felt great about myself. But after what those people said about me, I couldn’t even believe a compliment, I just considered it as an act of kindness that is just fake words coming out of someone’s mouth to please me. I’m still like that, I wish I had never met those people who scared me and made me like this. Oh how much I miss the days before those people came.
Pfin Hulk (29 days ago)
Soo, I'm just an introvert, I think. Yeah, my knees kinda get outta control when I have to do a speech but lately I found out I like talking in front of many people about a given topic when I like the topic. I don't speak much because my brain doesn't produce much to talk about. I hate gossiping or talking about the weather or a TV show or film (exept httyd). I like more deep conversations, I like talking about politics even with a stranger who doesn't have my opinion. And yeah, I get nervous in new situations, but who doesn't? I just try to get in that situation a bit more often to get comfortable with it.
Lovisa Johansson (29 days ago)
I have social anxiety because of my add. When people ask about the social anxiety i say that i am afraid of people or more exact what people think of me When i do a LOT of things.
I definitely have Social Anxiety and it has gotten worse, I can’t even talk to my own friends some times, when it’s time to show in class I get so scared I start to shake, stomach hurts, and etc but I have no way to escape from it. 😳
Loxfight (1 month ago)
Ok With Social Anxiety Is When You Think Everybody Hates You For Doing The Slightest Things Which I Suffer Through With BEing Shy Ur Just In A Brand New World And You Think You Dont Get That Much So You Dont Fit In Which Is NOT EVEN CLOSE to social anxiety
Just a human (1 month ago)
It's possible that i'm both of these right?
Dom (1 month ago)
i think i’m more shy than having social anxiety, but i always get mad when people say i’m shy, it’s like they make it worse, bringing attention to it like what good will it do to point it out? labeling me, putting me into a box. also I don’t think i’m the only one in class yet for some reason i’m always the target like just because I don’t want to answer a teacher’s question doesn’t mean it’s out of shyness when the rest of the class is quite too
Niall the Potato (1 month ago)
Idk.. Maybe I'm just shy.. I don't want to talk to someone. But i love to talk with my friends or to the people i know
ema93a (1 month ago)
Call it A or B, I hate it.
the make up chair (1 month ago)
Also all anxiety is not social like bunny on here she has anxiety but it’s not social and people regularly ask her in her comments how she can vlog in public but has anxiety she has said many times cuz it’s not social
sophiac (1 month ago)
thank you!!
UnfortunateTiming (1 month ago)
Since, like, everyone is talking about their social anxieties and whatnot, I guess I'll do it too to feel a lil' better. (warning: sorta long? lol) I feel like I'm my own worst critic. After any presentation I do, my mind fills with thoughts of what I could or shouldn't have done. I go over every little detail that I did in my head and get more and more embarrased of what I did. I've had this problem since Elementary. Whenever I go in front of a class or large group, My hands start to shake and my body just fidgets around. Whatever words that come through my dry mouth become jumbled sentences that I repeat out loud 'til I can get it right. I can feel my face becoming warm and everyone's judgemental eyes on me. Suddenly, I feel like I can hear every single thing that happens in the classroom. Every sniff a person takes, a chuckle, a whisper, just anything. I become so focused on everyone else's thoughts of me and stares, I end up mumbling like an idiot and not being able to focus correctly. It's like when I'm up there, center attention, I can feel their second-hand embarrasment for me and amusement. Whenever I'm with a person I'm comfortable with, words come much easier to me. I don't care about how I appear or the mistakes I make, but somehow, I care waaay too much about strangers I don't even know. Well, not really strangers, but classmates that I technically have to 'live' with throughout the school years. It's much easier for me to embarrass myself in front of strangers than people I'll have to see for 4 years straight. I feel like schools really do boil up anxieties and depression in people. It's the kids there. It really is like being in the wilderness and feeling like the bottom of the food chain. Everyone's in their packs and whatnot. People by nature are judgemental, and I can understand that because everyone is. I'm just too caught up in everyone's opinions of me. It makes me nauseous. I tell myself I shouldn't care about it, and that I'll forget these people in due time when I'm older, but it never really works. I relive my memories way to much, I mean- I still remember my horrible presentation from 3rd grade and now I'm in 11th. Anyways, I got a lil' presentation coming up soon, hopefully I can speak when I'm standing up there. :) It's a rather large class, and I'm hoping that there is a possibility of me skipping it even if I know I shouldn't.
D MAN (1 month ago)
I'm 31 and this shit still affects me. I rehearse what I'm going go say in my heas before making phone calls or talking to someone new in person otherwise my mind blanks out and my speech slows down and I begin to stutter.
Maddie 654xox (1 month ago)
When I was Elementary during recess I hid myself in the bathroom because I was always hiding behind a tree to the point that a teacher would send kids to play with me I literally felt like dying
Sweedie Art (1 month ago)
I don’t know what this is but I’m afraid to think in class? Hear me out If the class is silent I will completely shut off my thought process. This has caused me failing many tests in fear I will make too much noise by simply thinking. It’s annoying as hell. Also. Going out in public is hell. Like walking outside is fine, waving to my neighbors and people I know But if I go out to restaurants I physically cannot speak My dad yells at me It doesn’t help that we go out to eat literally every damn day because we don’t have a bunch of food a home. Common things I hear “Oh JUST get over it!” “You weirdo!” “Why are you so scared?” “This isn’t YOU!” “Stop it! You are being rude!” Please help? My mom and dad just think it’s shyness but it’s getting serious now and I want to see someone
LPS ChiliLilli (1 month ago)
I think I mabey mabey MABEY have social phopia, but it can still be that Im shy. I hate to go some where by my self because I hate all attention!!! I dont talk much eather so I dont have many friends UwU Can someone reply and help???
November SAINT (1 month ago)
Woah... I am the complete opposite of shy/ social anxiety.... I can't even BEGIN to fathom how a struggle it might be...
ItsJustBre. (1 month ago)
I probably have social anxiety because I avoid social situations if I am not comfortable. Even just thinking about presentations make me want to cry.
Cøøkie 20 (1 month ago)
Well I seem to be struggling to get out with my friends and inviting them round my house for some reason and i find it really awkward when there are only two of us and now one of my friends thinks I’m being rude for not inviting her round but I’m just really nervous for some reason and I find it easier to be with a group of people so now I’m to scared to leave the house at all or do anything with my friends I don’t know what’s wrong with me can someone help me please I’m desperate I just wanna be like everyone else
TheDeadlyMedley (1 month ago)
What’s it called when you want to talk to someone and be social but you’re afraid that you are being a pest?
Alisha Macaulay (1 month ago)
At schoo younger my mom would get calls from schl that i wont get out of the bathroom again, and public speeking i got a d of course id freeze and be blerry eye sight face burning up i deffentally avoided different situations deppression anexity burning myself thoughts come into my head that i think are evil idk im trying
Alain Pfaeffli (1 month ago)
Introverts just think before they talk :)
fluffy fluble (1 month ago)
I can speak in front of a class (though I am really nervous about it). I think that it’s because I have time to prepare. But if I go anywhere where I might have to have an impromptu conversation. Like at a mall with like employees. I don’t want to talk with them and I won’t hear what they are saying. I start stumbling my words. And even if I need to ask for help I won’t unless it is absolutely necessary (those standards are pretty high for me). Even with teachers. I won’t ask for help and I ultimately pay for that in my school work. I have no friends. And I would rather be alone anyways. I also always believe that if there are other people around they are judging me constantly. So when I go to a highly populated area like the cafeteria at my school or the food court at the mall. Or even in a store with like 7 people inside I will start to panic that they a sizing me up and judging. It gets to the point where even if I want to go somewhere and look around. I will leave because there are other people that are watching me constantly. Walking down halls with other people I feel like curling up into a ball and becoming invisible. I know that nobody will read this. And I know that I do not suffer nearly as much as other people. I merely wanted to write out the things that I feel to anybody. Even if it is more likely that nobody will see this.
Amazing Amber (1 month ago)
I have sever social anxiety..
Jannely (1 month ago)
Like many of you, I'm still not sure if I am just a shy person or have social anxiety but I think I do have social anxiety, which sucks sooo much☹️☹️
I just wanna sleep (1 month ago)
who's here trying to figure out if they have social anxiety. At first I was like "oh I'm just really awkward" but now I'm staring to realize that people who consider themselves awkward are not as bad as me, every online test I've taken I've gotten yes.
N J (1 month ago)
Is it called social anxiety if you just so scared to do presentation in front of your own classmate till you will skip school just bcs you don't want to present. Like I mean skip school is skip 1 till 2 weeks or a month
N J (1 month ago)
But okay with talking to ppl
Iced Dragoon (1 month ago)
I believe I have social anxiety. I don’t get nervous around people until they talk to me. I start sweating, stuttering, my heart starts racing, and I’m always paranoid I will say something that offended them or makes me look like a fool. Then when I go home, if the conversation made me look bad (in my opinion because I am a paranoid potato) then I will lay in bed just ask myself questions. “What if I said that” “what if I didn’t do that” “would that have changed their mind about me??” are questions I often ask my self. My fear of talking to others has crushed me so much, I will refuse to go outside sometimes, because my mind just says, “no.. not today, you know can’t do this.. why do you do this to yourself? you know you don’t like it. Just stay here, it’s safe” and I will have a mini argument in my head. I usually cave in, and I know I look lazy doing that, but I’m scared. And then I get mad at myself and cry in bed or force extra work on me the next day to ‘punish’ myself for being lazy. I’m just a paranoid and confused mess...
Mina ** (1 month ago)
I hate when people tell me "you're quite" smh. It makes me feel bad about myself
gaming consumer (1 month ago)
I'm both
Jalen Finney (1 month ago)
The world action has got me feeling that I have social anxiety
Puppy Lover (1 month ago)
If I don't know u or really don't talk to u I speak like a mouse, literally all of .y friends someone introduced me 2 and I need we answer anything because I'm afraid that people will think I don't know anything if I get it wrong, Soo I judge myself hate to admit I'm wrong and constantly replay conversations regretting some things I said. But if we are really really close none of this happens, besides regretting things I said and did.
Danny Dankmeme (1 month ago)
I think i am somewhere between the middle tier and the last tier. With my social anxiety I have no friends in real life. Well, unless you count that one stoner guy who was my kinda friend for a year and then moved away to go to college early. To deal with my social anxiety I have a discord group and I talk to people online in servers. For some reason it is easier to talk to people over text than it is to talk to people face to face or voice to voice. I can talk voice to voice with some of my online friends kinda, but only if one or a few people are in the voice channel at a time.
The Random Queen (1 month ago)
Well, short story... i have both....yay me 😓
Ijjou Id lakhlift (1 month ago)
Do all people with social anxiety have anxiety and panic attacks
Lyric Noneyabusiness (1 month ago)
I don’t know if I have social anxiety or just extremely shy. I hate going out and I feel so panicky when I do I’ve cried over staying one more night on a trip and over seeing my cousin, who I’ve seen all my life I know sometimes people link depression to social anxiety and I go through phases of being very very depressed I overthink everything when I’m out I HATE public speaking or just speaking in front of a class Anyone able to tell me an estimate?
RockandRollforever86 (1 month ago)
I have anxiety and panic attacks it's gotten better over the years . I do take meds that help but another big help is the relationship I'm in now my ex had depression disorder and when I tried to talk to him it was like two evils fighting .. in the end I couldn't take it any more and I left him .. now I'm married w a baby and although I still have panic attacks they few and far between but my husband when we first started dating was very understanding.we had a system of signals that I would give him if we was in a public place and felt a panic attack coming on .where he would be able to pull me aside and calm me down it helped out a lot .. I'm still scared of something's but not as bad as it used to be.
Mj 2x (1 month ago)
I know for a fact I have social anxiety I just don’t know how to get rid of it. I’m 14 going to my first year of high school and I know it’s going to affect me ALOT. Every time I get around people I don’t know or even people I know I usually tend to shake, get tense, my heart starts racing, I can’t stand still, and I can’t look up without my neck shaking so I try to look down at my phone as a excuse to looking down. My friends have no problem socializing with random people and I real get frustrated because I do have a problem. And the crazy thing is that I’m popular and people know me because I rap so I know it’s going to be people trying to talk to me which we just cause me to go through those social anxiety problems again. Can somebody please give me a way to cure this
Hope Borah (1 month ago)
I don't know what actually happens with me... In class when everybody is concentrating along with me suddenly I feel something is wrong and my entire body started to feel warm.. Besides a sudden non stopping cough suddenly pops out from nowhere disturbing everyone making me feel bad.. Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna puke without any reason which feels so horrific.. I too have anger issues which suddenly makes me feel as everyone surrounding me are selfish without any reason and so I end up talking to nobody...sudden anxiety and panic attacks started making my life hell and I am losing all confidence and hope day by day... My sister tells me I used to overthink a lot and she's right.. I think so so much about my past present and future that I end up being physically numb or like a paralysed person. I know its very embarassing for me to tell that I have so many issues but its the reality and am feeling it each day. Hope you'll not run away reading this😢
CrimsonHarmony (1 month ago)
I've never been diagnosed with social anxiety, so I doubt that I have it, I'm probably just shy. Whenever I talk in front of the class, I have to talk with a piece of paper in front of me. I can't look anyone eye-to-eye and even with that, my brain still goes blank when I want to talk and it makes me stutter like crazy.
Jim Bob (1 month ago)
Here’s a tip just keep on going any going if they don’t laugh at your jokes it’s just a joke or ignore you oh well there’s plenty of fish in the sea and you just get better and better you have to to push your self get more confident I had social anxiety and now I have a lot of friends do I want to be cool? No it’s pretty lame
Lucas Red (1 month ago)
Zoella and these YouTubers don't have social anxiety. Just take a look in their social media and you gonna see they have nothing, it's a bunch of lies for views.
rEjiN.Sky03 (1 month ago)
I feel like somethings crushing my stomach and my breathing starts to be irregular..that feeling of riding a roller coaster ride or a viking ride except you're not in the ride.. when i cant handle it i start to cry.. i tend to lock myself up in my room or in the bathroom because i dont want anyone to see. There's this point im so excited to meet my friends but when that day came suddenly i want to cancel it and made up reasons why i cant make it..then i suffer after i decided not to go and be bombarded by thoughts and worries why did i do that..
AnGelA De FuCk uP (1 month ago)
Most of the time I won't even go outside to walk or ride my bike in fear people are gonna watch me or if i'm mowing the lawn and I see a person coming ill start shaking and stop the mower and go inside till they leave school is a nightmare especially at lunch im always aware of people around me and small talk is a nightmare i dont even look people in the eyes
Einhorn x (1 month ago)
For me it‘s normal to be that way (I don‘t know if I‘m just super shy or have social anxiety) I always wonder how people can be so confident. When I had my confirmation I had to go there like 5 hours every Month and I was every time so scared , had to cry the day or the hour before and told my mom always I don‘t want to go there. After I was there 2 times I canceled it because I didn‘t felt comfortable at all. And one time my two friends told me that they don‘t come to school on Monday (yeah I have just 2 friends) so I cried and despaired so that my mom left me at home. But I think the thing that takes my life quality the most is that I can‘t talk to my mom or in general to my family. Every time we have an argument I don‘t defend my self I just sit there quiet because the words are in my head but I can‘t say them, then she shouts at me for not talking with her but I just can‘t. I just don‘t understand the people that when they have like stress with friends they go to their mother and tell her, I would never do that. I am rather alone at home than be with my family. I know it‘s not normal because I see the way my friends act around their mother and I‘m so jealous of them. Now the problem is I want to tell my mom that I might have social anxiety but I can‘t talk to her. What should I do ?
Donald Duck (1 month ago)
No one will probably see this but I’m still gonna say it so I can get it off my chest. I have no clue where I fall on the scale between shyness and social anxiety. I would talk to my mom about it and see a doctor, but the problem is I’m too scared to. One big incident was earlier this week when my mom and I went to the store. Idk what it was but the whole time I just felt blank and wanted to cry. I didn’t think much of it until we were in one of the isles and she started moving towards me to see what some of the other products were and, for whatever reason, I just freaked out (in my head cause I didn’t want her to think something was wrong even though there was). I’m still really confused. Before I say this next thing, a bit of backstory. Whenever I go out somewhere and I feel self conscious, scared, or just plain weird, I put my left arm behind my back and hold onto my right arm. It sounds weird (and probably looks weird too) but it helps me feel safe and secure, like a security blanket almost. Anyway, after that I started walking like that, not talking unless my mom said something. But whenever it would get really bad like how it did in the isle, I started using my nails to scratch the arm I was holding, again as another coping mechanism. I’ve done this before but not for this type of situation. Aside from all that, I also don’t go anywhere unless I have either a friend or my mom going, I don’t like parties unless I go with people I know well, I said no to hanging out with a somewhat friend that had moved away and I only somewhat knew because I was too scared of how awkward it would be and what she would think of me after, when I go to places like the doctor I tend to talk extremely quietly, to the point where at times no sound comes out, I’m even too scared to talk to most of my family and it’s really hard to make friends which is why I try not to lose contact with who I have. So, anyway, can someone give me some kind of advice on this cause right now I feel like sh*t and I’m scared.
Mady (1 month ago)
I literally rode a skateboard alone around my nahborhod because I was too afraid to go to my friends house
Joshua Ferreira (1 month ago)
My sister was talking to a friend of ours and i really wanted to be on that conversation but i put my earphones on so it’d seen i was listening to a song and keep listening to them talking cause i didn’t have anything to say
Sup Dudes (1 month ago)
Someone please help I feel like crying idk what’s wrong with me? I’m shy but it’s something else. I worry so freaking much and over the simplest things. Like pacer, playing soccer with older people, soccer games , doing something in front of people. My heart speeds up and I breathe faster. I fidget and I can’t stand still. Sometimes I have after math and think how much I sucked. I feel like crying most of the time. But it’s over the simplest things like when I was stuck in the bathroom I thought I was stuck in there and I was really scared I couldn’t explain it. My friends just thought I was over reacting and told me to chill. That’s what everyone tells me ...help.
Thatonegirl Hehe (1 month ago)
I'm not sure what I have but I can't have small conversations with new people or be with big groups even if I know everyone there. The other day I was at lunch and my mom was talking about doing drivers training where you drive with an instructor. In the middle of the restaurant in started to hyperventilat and cry. Just the thought of having to drive with a random person makes me want do puke. My parents don't believe there is anything wrong with me and they think that I just need to stop being concerned about what other people think...
Gabrielle Holt (1 month ago)
I'm not shy but I am very socially anxious. I've always worked in customer service (cashier, hostess, assistant, server) and I excel in those roles because I am ALWAYS given a script on what to say/do and how to say/do different things. In an informal setting though (parties, dating, hanging out) I really struggle. Often times I don't even go and it's gotten worse over the years. I'm not on social media at all and I've been to one party in the last 7 months. I have a fear of failure and disappointing others by being too boring or awkward or unaccomplished so I tend to keep to myself a good 90% of the time.
Pour Some Suga On Me (1 month ago)
My whole life everyone thought I was shy, turns out I'm on the autistic spectrum... Don't ignore shy people like it's no big deal or they'll get over it. Their "shyness" might be something bigger.
anneli (2 months ago)
I’ve been diagnosed with a social phobia and it really makes things difficult. I will be honest in that it makes me angry to hear from people online that they “suffer” from the over used conditions such as “anxiety, depression, social anxiety, etc.” I think people generally overuse these terms and don’t realize that may not really be “suffering”. But then again who am I to say that. One of the biggest things that bothers me is that people self diagnose right and left. *Depression and social anxiety actually require a medical diagnosis.* I think that would have been helpful to include in the video.
a (2 months ago)
i was diagnosed with social anxiety at 9. it just bothers me that people think they have social anxiety because they are shy. it’s SO much more than being shy.
MinerFX (2 months ago)
When it comes to social situations(meeting new people, talking to others I don't speak to on a daily schedule) I do my best to avoid the situation. I don't leave my bedroom and when I do and need to interact socially with another(even if its my friends or family) I dread it and feel scared to do it. In the classroom, I feel as everyone is always looking at me and judging me, I feel as if everyone doesn't like me, and only hang out with me to make me feel better. I don't know if any of that classifies as social anxiety.
Irdina Masturah (2 months ago)
Im totally have social anxiety
May jane (2 months ago)
Please help me.
May jane (2 months ago)
I don’t know which I am I’m not that shy but feel shaky and really nervous at times when speaking in front of a lot of people. And feel nervous when people look at me I feel like someone may be looking at me. So sometimes I don’t act completely myself and feel weird.
iLyddz (2 months ago)
For me, the big difference is: shyness is a personality trait, social anxiety is a mental health condition. For me personally, I was confident growing up and talked to anyone. I developed social anxiety after being bullied by 'close' friends, more often than not attacking my personality (I was too honest so that made me b*tchy, etc.). That caused me to stop talking to new people because I was afraid they'd think I was cruel or a bad person. It caused me to panic when talking to people I was close to in case they thought those things too. Let off of my social anxiety leash? I enjoy people and talking - albeit, from an introverts perspective. But social anxiety has caused my social life to become incredibly sheltered and for my personal experience, that's the difference between shyness and social anxiety.
Namjesus ! (2 months ago)
I hate when think being shy and having anxiety is the same thing🙄
Cindy KNOWS (2 months ago)
Oh god.. I still dont know if im just shy or socially anxious, but I am gonna take a theater class. Wish me luck..
Zipa stewards (2 months ago)
It’s weird for me because I am quiet and shy so when I eventually do talk everyone just stares at me and like the room goes quiet
DJ Carver (2 months ago)
I finally had made it. Months and months of mental and physical torture. Months of me tearing myself down. Building up walls so no one could hurt me or reject me or judge me. Months of pretending I didn’t care what people thought. Months of masking my true feelings. Now I was free from all of that. Of course I had tried every now and then to overcome my fear but it just had too much power over me. I had been hurt. Traumatized. Being told by certain people that I wasn’t good enough. That I wasn’t pretty enough. “You have something on your face! Oh my god sneakers with a dress? You’ll never be as popular as me!” Those words. The things people said. All of that lead me to create something inside me. I created myself something that I thought would save me from those painful words. Those painful looks. Those painful times. That thing that I created. It changed me. What used to be a fun loving, crazy, and friendly girl turned into a cut off, antisocial girl. A girl that never smiled. A girl that never talked to anyone or laughed. A girl that forgot who she really was. A girl that had hidden her true self deep within her as a defense mechanism. That person that I created. I hate it. I wish I could get rid of it but I can’t. It took control of me. It controlled every single aspect of my life. But I was so busy building walls and setting up gates and guards to protect myself that I didn’t realize what was happening to me. I didn’t realize what that thing that I had created was starting to take over me. You want to go make new friends? Too bad! They are going to reject you! They are going to hurt you! Your not good enough for them! You’ll never be enough! You don’t look good! You have stuff on your face! Your glasses make your eyebrows look too big like a unibrow! Want to speak up in class? No! No one wants to hear what you have to say! No one cares about your opinion! No one will agree with you! That, that THING, it pushed away all of my friends, my family, my hobbies. I used to play soccer, basketball. I used to play outside! I used to be FREE but no more. According to my social anxiety being myself will only end in pain.
Gabriela Salas (2 months ago)
for me even talking to my family is hard. when i’m talking to someone i constantly think about how i’m going to respond, how i look while they’re talking to me and that tends to make the person talking to me awkward and it makes me feel even worse because they don’t see the real me. having anxiety is like having a wall in front of me. when i have a thought, a joke or anything it’s like my mouth doesn’t allow me to say it and i just stand there silently :( and i’m really a funny outgoing person deep down but this mental illness really doesn’t allow me to be my true self because i’m constantly thinking of how OTHERS are going to react or think of me. and i often seek validation from others. i’m tired of this illness and i just need to push through.
Luaxon (2 months ago)
Does anyone else with social anxiety feel like they're self-centered (or is it just me)? I rarely have a conversation with others, it's usually just small talk, so I use all of that social energy by talking to myself... I don't know what to talk about with other people, so I feel like it's easier to talk about myself.
MxMinhyukswife (21 days ago)
Honestly.. Me to :(
Komi (2 months ago)
I don't know if I have social anxiety or not. I'll share a few experiences and common moments that I have to deal with regularly. 1. I have a class where I know absolutely no one and by god it's a practical subject ): I've never finished a project within said class because I'm too scared to A. Get up because I'm afraid people will judge or B. Too scared to asked the teacher for help. I remember one instance where I was surrounded by a bunch people who were all talking and laughing and I ended up having a full clown panic attack for an hour before anyone took notice. 2. If I'm at a shop I would get my friends to order for me as I'm WAY too scared to order for myself. (This one is really getting to me) 3. I don't do sports because I'm afraid my shyness/social anxiety will act up and make me look awkward, so I avoid doing sports at all costs. I'm in need for exercise because the school year is out and athletics continues when school starts again. Could anyone tell me if I have social anxiety or not? It would be much appreciated
Igor Sidelkovsky (2 months ago)
hey ,if anyone else wants to uncover how to overcome shyness in school try Renkarter Anxiety Method Report (just google it ) ? Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my mate got excellent success with it.
Jdburko Gaming (2 months ago)
I go to enrichment (it’s a school for gifted kids) once a week because I’m pretty smart myself. At this point though I am probably gonna stop going because every year we have to do 2 or 3 presentations and each one stresses me out a lot. I get sick the day before and when I am presenting I am sweating dizzy dry mouth and I generally feel like my mind is separated from my body when I present. As much as I fear getting judged for ‘dropping out’ of enrichment I just hope I am insignificant enough that no one notices. I’m 13 now and I am only now starting to go to grocery stores more and I avoid any interaction outside of interacting with the cashier. I do not like talking to strangers in public. I don’t think I can ever become a cashier in my teenage years if I can’t even buy thinks without stressing out.
My fish Drowned (2 months ago)
I have social Anxiety and scopophobia so whenever the teacher calls on me i honestly feel like breaking down and crying
Sophie M (2 months ago)
I'm pretty sure I have social anxiety. I panic over having to face a social situation or when I know I'm about to see a bunch of people. I almost cry just because I think someone's watching me, when I drop my pencil in front of the class, turn in a paper to the tray, or dump my trash at lunch and whenever I'm on the bus with many loud people. My heart beats very fast like I've just ran a mile and I feel like I can't breathe. How I deal with it is that I come to people who are willing to talk to me and understand. People like counselors and friends. People I trust. I also talk to an Anxiety Crisis Line, breathing exercises, and things in my mind to try and occupy myself. Just know though that the methods may not always work, but it can for the most part. I've only had it for a few months and I hope and think that it can get easier and better.
Maria Ruiz (2 months ago)
At school i feel like people are always judging. This one time our school band was going to main event and i was really excited for laser tag. I didnt know where the line was and for an entire 4 hours i sat on a bench using my phone instead. I was too scared to even ask my friends
Maria Ruiz (2 months ago)
My friend asked me after why i didnt go to play laser tag and i told her i didnt know where the line was and she told me where it was then she asked me why i didnt ask her before . She simply didnt understand why because she stopped talking to me and said after about a week to learn to freakin ask Try when you have severe social anxiety

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