Cristen highlights five significant differences between shyness and social anxiety, or social phobia.
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I'm not sure wheather or not I have social anxiety or not but....
I always feel like people are judging me no matter what I do. Whenever I walk down the hallway, I feel like people are staring or judging me to as simple as just blowing my nose in class cause I feel like I'm blowing too loud and being annoying. I can never raise my hand and ask for help in class cause I think people are gonna think I'm retarded. I never speak cause I think people wouldnt care what I have to say or I'll say something stupid.
I replay things over and over in my head thinking about why I did that or how stupid I was and how people are gonna judge you.
Whenever I try to talk my grandma about this, she'll just tell to get over it or blame it on "that damn phone". I wish I could tell her off and say how I really feel but I never do. They never do.
And I just don't know what to do...
I'm a socially anxious guy, i went recently to a psychologist when, i spoke about my past as being bulied and got isolated socially, i felt shames and i started crying it was painful, thanks for the video !!
Is it strange that I get a boost of confidence when I’m with my friends, but when I’m on my own I just panic and overthink everything I say or do? Even if I yawn I worry if I looked ugly or if I yawned too loudly or people noticed me panic about it? ( as an example ) I love to go out places with my friends but I just hide behind them and let them handle things. In my mind it’s just a constant “oh no I messed up did anyone see I don’t think they did its fine it’s fine it’s okay it’s fine I’m fine”
Is this normal or do I need help? :(
I used to think I was just shy till a year ago, but i found out that social anxiety runs in my family and I’ve always had it and it’s depressing to know that I’ve never experienced my life without it, nor can I even imagine what it feels to not have it. It feels like my anxiety is getting worse every year, and that it worsened when I got into high school. It’s gotten to the point where I started avoiding things like this one time I didn’t eat lunch because my friend wasn’t there and i couldn’t bring myself to stand in line in front of everybody. I’m just glad that i was able to get a therapist and i hope that one day I’ll be able to live my life without social anxiety
Can you have social anxiety but force yourself to act and seem confident? Called on unexpectedly in class? Inside, I feel exposed and flushed and scared to get it wrong. But, boom! I answer with a serious and confident tone. Presentation? A++++ but why do I feel
so horrified to stutter and keep replaying the moment in my head? I think I’m just a shy introvert that forces myself to be extroverted so I’ll have good marks and friends. I’m sick of pretending to actually like talking to people when in reality I’m so socially exhausted I could shut myself in a room alone for hours.
I’ve finally told my dad about how I feel about school. My mum always knew but I don’t think she thought anything of it. I explained to him that I get so so nervous to go to school and see hundreds of people and getting judged. I just hate the idea and I hate getting up so early! Rarely I will have a mental breakdown. Once when I was just about to leave the house I begged my mum to not go to school and she said I had to go and I just started crying and screaming at her because I just couldn’t possibly go, and I don’t know why. She had to let me off that day. Everyone knows that I’m a little bit shy, I’m shy to everyone except my best friends because they know me. I also have a lisp and I try to avoid words that have ‘s’ sounds in them. And when people try to talk to me my mouth goes all dry and I get tongue tied ALL the time and then I make it really awkward cause I never know what to say. Recently I’ve been getting occurring headaches. And whenever I go to school I feel sick and Ill and many times I’ve gone home. To be honest I don’t actually think I’m ill I think being at school makes me feel ill and I just want to go home so bad.
Can anyone please help me out with this?
Is it SAD? Or worse or just shyness?
My social anxiety kicks in when need to order food. When ever he says how I’m a help u? my heart hurts so much I would just want to go in corner and cry. I think the reason why this is because I’m scared of what people are going to think of me when I talk. I feel like I’m going to say something that is totally wrong.
FOoDISmYLIfE ee I still havent overcome my anxiety. I have been dealing with it ever since I went to public schools. Never got any professional help, although I do recommend to talk to someone who is very close to you and discuss about what your problems are and how to fix it Currently a few days ago, I downloaded some apps to relieve my stress like meditating music, and writing down my fears in a diary. I try to set some goals for myself to become a better person.
FOoDISmYLIfE Same goes for me. I often feel judged by people because they think that Im a weird person. When really its my anxiety that makes me act awkward. I mean I cant even go to a store and buy something that I want.
Could you do a video on how people who are more open socially could help or just make life easier for people with social anxiety? I just watched this video to see if there’s anything I could do as an extremely social person to make it easier and be more conscious of people I may come across with social anxiety. I’m a pretty accepting person but is that enough to comfort people or is it more than that?
I find this to be a very complicated topic. Like some may never see a mental health specialist yet display some of these symptoms and tendencies thinking it's not as bad as others, so they believe they don't need to change. I guess this goes back to your point about people fighting about who's stuggle is worse. I sometimes think like this and don't think I have social anxiety until a social situation comes about and I have an extreme amount of anxiety. I definitely feel the anxiety when it comes to anticipation. Yet, I enjoy talking with people and love when people talk to me. So I find this very difficult to understand. But I found your video very helpful and it gave me more insight on this journey. Thankyou!!!
When I'm in Drama or Music.... I will not do anything because I think that people will judge me if I mess up... same with Drama. So half of the time, I just sit there crying. In so many classes I do not socialize with anyone, not even the teachers. If I have to read anything then I just start crying and can't stop. Around people I get really irritated when they talk so much and choose to talk about how many people they're friends with. I've had at least 50 friendship problems with the same people, I can't trust people. I'm not sure what to think of this, if im either really shy or i have anxiety. I'm scared to tell people because they might judge me if I mess up.
My mom beat the shit out of me when I told her that I have social anxiety. She thought I was only pretending to have an anxiety. And people who actually have social anxiety are just uncivilized people who are never exposed to the outer world.
This is so sad. I don't know how to convince others that I'm having anxiety and doing so is not an easy task either. Especially since I fear that they might judge me negatively.
I loved you video! How do you maintain a high quality of life... haha... I don’t really lol
I am starting to try more, because I want to be a part of something bigger than myself. I do enjoy my alone time, but I recognize that it is not always a good thing to do long term. To be honest I am still not sure if I am just really shy or has a bit (much) of social anxiety? All I know is my brain freezes under most social talks and I struggle to make sentences, well sentences that make sense lol I have lost connections with people and friends, because I was to afraid to meet them in person. I kept having all of these negative thoughts run through my head, it is just plain awful. But I am working on it! Any small achievement is still an achievement!!
I don't know whether I have social anxiety or shyness but i have one of them.
I also just can't stand small talk, one: cuz it's a waste of time and two because I don't know what to say and it seems too fake to me. People have called me blunt and I'm okay with that. I'm okay on one to one once I get to know you but in a group I don't know what to say I just avoid them. Also, so many people drink and I don't drink so I don't want to sit in a room with a bunch of drunks. I end up hanging out with my family which are all abusive and dysfunctional because they're more familiar to me then a new social setting. So I'm stuck in a rut with no friends. And I'm a grown woman
Who does not talk at school. Because i don’t talk at school. My teachers try to help me but they are not understanding.
Understanding that I am not just shy. I don’t know what to say so try to think but I can’t think so it just becomes awkward and I say something wrong.
I don't know but the only thing that I'm mostly afraid are public speeches. I know what to say but when i get in front of people, my mind just goes blank. I can initiate small talk but I got to think about the subject first(just in case it's stupid), in class(again) when the teacher picks me(even if I know the answear) it's still hard for me to say it out loud. So when I deal with public speeches and in classroom I start to shake(just a bit and then it grows longer until i get used to the public) and eventually sweat. It's annoying that these things happen
So am I a shy girl or do I have Social Anxiety
I usually know as the quiet girl in the classroom and when people attempt to talk to me I usually say things that makes the conversation end faster, like if someone were to say "so how was your day"
I would say "good.." or someone might say a joke and I usually fake laugh to make the person not feel awkward or actually laugh but say nothing after laughing. I don't talk at all in class unless someone says something to me or I'm called on! sometimes I get thoughts in my head that I should not talk to one of my friends because there hanging out with Some one Else. I'm not afraid to go up in front of the class room when I'm reading a project and I speak very loud so people can here me or I'm not a afraid to try out a role in a concert or a speaking role in front of people, though my heart races and I read a bit fast because of that. I'm nervous on online game that include a chat section, so I don't type anything and if someone wants to talk to me and it gets a bit too much for me, I click off the game...
Honestly, it's kinda the opposite. I'm not afraid to speak up in class - I'm mostly afraid that, if I don't, people will think I'm stupid. Sure, I'm afraid that I'll make a mistake unless I'm aware that i do okay in the class and I'm more likely to get more answers right. When I don't, I'll mumble my answers so that at least people close to me can hear it and not think of me as, well, an idiot.
Also, I speak really fast. Really fast - I slur my words a lot, and I tend to... move around a lot, i guess? Lean on things, my voice gets louder, I laugh. Eh. It's weird. It makes me angry since I get so loud. I stop breathing when other people are talking, and I just get really giggly altogether. It makes me seem annoying and, honestly, I am. But, I dunno, whenever I get stressed I just start acting like a brainless, giggly idiot around other people.
I need to know whether or not what I'm wearing or doing is going to blend in if I want to go somewhere. School is fine - I'm not noticed at school. But on Halloween? I had a breakdown in the car before I got there, wanted to go home. Picture day? Almost skipped. Got forced out of the car. High school tour? Skipped it because i was too late anyway, and it would have been embarrassing to continue. That party thing that I desperately wanted to go to? Skipped. Saved me the ridicule. I did go to summer camp and, while I do have a ton of embarrassing moments, I'm glad my pride saved me and forced me through those doors, forced me to talk to people my own age - even if it was nerve-wracking. It was one of the greatest and worst experiences of my life thus far.
Eye contact is uncomfortable but manageable - I tend to be far more passive and less likely to do anything sure to lower my credibility. hate talking to adults, very cowardly, very closed-off to other people. Never had a close friend before, I cannot let anybody close to me. No idea why, but I can't.
Conclusion: Just obnoxiously shy and annoying
I'm a shy and introverted girl, who is more comfortable talking to the girls at my lunch table at school, and I can introduce myself to new students with confidence, but I can get a teeny tiny bit nervous, when I do that, but I keep the shyness out of my way, and I'm now a freshman in high school, and I've just started to step out of my shell a little bit, so I know I don't need therapy for it, thank God, and I'm a little bit more confident!!!😳☺😎
I can't talk to other people I freak out have a panic attack and run back in my house and I have to know them so good I have to know your parents Grand and great grand parents to say hi I spy on people alot I am creepy and don't know my teachers name im to scared to even talk to my teachers they are worried about me help
I'm such an extrovert, I crave social acceptance and friends and I get really energized when I'm with people I love, but I have massive social anxiety. I am terrified of social situations and getting through social events is so challenging. But people do not believe me that I have social anxiety and I just wish people would understand.
I have medication for gen anxiety and social anxiety that I can take up to three times a day as needed and it saves my life every day. Books also keep me socially satisfied because I find that books see very social experience because you become the character and become friends with their friends.
I am a shy person 😔 I like the shirt that says I’m shy not anti social you can talk to me because in school I’m always alone and no one to talk to if my friends aren’t in class I feel people judge me to
I have anxiety for my look 24/7 I growing up ugly and unworthy. I want our look show by how good of a person we are then I'll definitely tell you that I have really nice intention. Walking in the school, think that others are looking at me and I just wanna cover myself up. Who can relate??
Yep. I avoid getting a job, ordering food, buying stuff, answering a question, going out with friends, I avoid talking to people even if they're my friends. I have a best friend of three years and I still can't find the courage to tell her things because I fear what she will think. I wanted to tell her the good news that I was finally diagnosed and I was getting help for the first time in six years but I couldn't. I shut up when my friend sees one of their other friends, and I don't say a word. I once ate an entire family sized bag of ketchup chips to avoid talking as I walked with my friend and her new bf. Let's just say that I somehow burnt my taste buds and made my tongue bleed by eating them all just to avoid conversation and the awkward tension.
I thought I was shy but I think I have social anxiety. It’s getting worse to the point where I can’t talk to my friends or family without feeling anxious. I start blushing like crazy and I worry that they’ll notice then I try to calm done so that it goes away and it doesn’t. Other times when I feel my face warming up i hold in my breath to relax which is something I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been doing subconsciously
In 4th grade we made to introduce our selves in front of my class. So it was my turn to go and I just sat in my set doing nothing and everyone staring at me and starting crying. (and I couldn't really breath and my stomach just was like stabbing me)
I can’t tell what my issue is.... I keep thinking I’m one of those kids that everyone kid says they have depression or anxiety to get attention or something for sympathy but I don’t want to say I do that. I have trouble processing things and I never can actually start a conversation with people I don’t know. When I talk to them I just don’t know what to say, I blush, but when I know the answer sometimes I just don’t know how to answer it so I’ll just keep talking, and then people say I start talking really fast, and something that I always notice is that I start to mumble and I have no clue how to speak anymore and I can NEVER, I mean NEVER look at someone in the eye for longer than 20 seconds. Sometimes at night I’ll just start to cry and I have no clue why and that’s what happened to me tonight.. so I decided to look up symptoms of anxiety and stuff and I keep thinking I’m one of those kids that just say they have it but they actually don’t and they just do it for attention. Someone please help me out here and tell me if I’m just someone looking for attention or if it IS possible I have some type of anxiety. Oh yeah and sometimes when there is attendance I have to prepare for my name to call and I feel like I’m gonna here my name and not say anything and then after they call my name, I say here and look around the classroom to see if anyone is looking at me thinking “why did it take him so long to reply”
Can you have social anxiety amd not be shy because im generally not a shy person but i think everyone hates me i always think someones watching me and i feel like people hate me for the stupiest reasons like i have a stain on my pants
I’ve ended up going by 6 different names because of anxiety! When talking to people (online or in person) I frequently forget important details such as name and age. Thankfully, I don’t have any relationships with anyone anymore so I don’t have to memorize what name people call me.
I’m extremely confused I don’t know if it’s shyness or social anxiety: 1: I will do/make up ANY kind of excuse to not participate in school sports/activities as I’m really scared that I’m going to be judged harshly for it so I’ll make up an excuse that I’m feeling sick or I haven’t finished my work. 2: whenever my Mum sends me to go grab some groceries I start to get really sweaty and I just sit still in the car looking at the ground then my mum gets mad and I blame myself for refusing to go. 3: I am extremely scared to make phone calls even if it’s my closest friends/cousins, whenever In a call my mind wonders off thinking of what to say and it gets awkwardly silent then I make up an excuse and say: “It’s dinner my parents are calling me sorry!” Then I hang up. 4: Whenever I walk in shopping centres (any social area) I feel like everyone’s looking at me judging me 24/7, talking about me so I always grab a cousin/ friend to come with me. 5: I can never get up during class without thinking people are staring blankly at me yet again judging me. 6: If I finish a test early I get so scared that my answers aren’t right to I try fixing them up and I end up thinking about day dreaming completely forgetting about the test which is the same as in class i day dream and find it hard to control my mind but my mind just wonders off which becomes a problem.(Mind me I’m 12).
I still have no idea if I have social anxiety or shyness (I'm not saying this video didnt help because it really did) because I have this awful voice/bad thoughts (it's not like an actual voice though I don't have schizophrenia) that always tells me stuff like "why did you say that you're so stupid" or "stop that they're looking at you" stuff like that. I also always feel self-conscious and I never actually want to go to social situations but I feel like I have to or else everyone will hate me. The voice also says it's going to create karma karma karma
I also feel extremely uncomfortable around people and I hate I *hate* being touched by anyone even if it's a pat on the back or a hug or if someone touches my shoulder
I also hate loud situations when lots of people are talking at the same time I just feel so overwhelmed by all the noise
I've also lost interest in everything and I only feel like hiding in my closet and listening to music.
So if someone could explain what's going on in my head that would be great :)
There is nothing wrong with been shy, human networks to work well need both the extro and intro vert sides.
Today's corporate culture bullcrap selection is wrong, when networks or network hubs get to that point where competing elements are eliminated they tend to self destroy overtime.
Honestly, I'm scared of classrooms and having to sit in a room full of people I don't know, I'm scared to talk to them. I'm scared of dancing on stage after have bee doing it since I was nine. Yet I still feel sick to my stomach every year. I've been labeled the shy girl in everything and it's annoying. I've made two friends in the span of four years that don't hate me (I've managed to make a few but after a while I get comfortable and when they do something that makes me uncomfortable get mad at me and stop talking to me)
Just to messily list a few
Ugh I hate having social anxiety cuz for example sometimes when ppl try to be nice and talk to me i don’t even listen to them I’m just there in my mind like: “omg what should I say now? they r judging me/ they think I’m weird” and all stuff like that and bc of that i try to end the conversation really fast by just answering “yes/no” or anyway quick answers so I’m pretty sure lots of ppl I know think I’m a “snob” type of person or smth like that ....I hate this so much bruh why can’t I just be normal ..I care so much of what ppl think of me it’s insane like even when I’m walking on the street I feel like everyone’s judging me so I usually focus on smth(on my phone or my shoes or anything)trying not to look uncomfortable but I just end up looking even more weird and just awkward
I never raise my hand during class and really have to do presentations apart with only the teacher and only can properly talk to my best friends and close family, I even feel uncomfortable around them sometimes, especially when I have a sleepover I just wanna go home because it's just too much social interaction for me. I just wish I were invisible so no one would notice me or talk to me because I really cannot stand that. Also I cannot order something or talk to the phone because I get a panic attack. My parents just tell me that I need to get over it and 'just talk and make new friends' but I just really cannot do that. I have a stuttering problem and even when I don't stutter that much I would do anything to avoid social interaction. Do you think I have social anxiety?
Social anxiety have ruined my life...
When im at home im not scare i can get as loud as i can do whatever i want to do , but when i go out in public my mouth start to zip. My feet start to shake. In i start to feel more more scared. Wtf❗
Ok i come and go from psicology videos and i am always searching a nadme and im like "i am this" and later "i am that" but when a video differentiates two thing i see it better. I dont have any mental issue, im just akward, thanks girl!
I started my second job now. I hate this one co-worker of mine. He keeps telling me to speak up because if not i might get crazy or my saliva will be a waste. It annoys me so much. Why can't he leave me alone. I am still adjusting in my new situation.
I can't diagnose myself. But i feel like no one like me. I'm scared to participate to discussion, and i messed up really bad in most of teamworks. That led me to have feeling like everyone hate me, they're mad with me although it's all over long ago. I know i'm overthinking but *i just can't help it.*
I only have a few trusted friend, but i also think that they don't like me cause of many reasons.
When i arrive at my college the first thing that i do is to go to the restroom, stand in front of the mirror and double checked my appearance.
I'm not bragging but i'm actually smart. But if the college teacher throw any question on us, and *even if i know the answer,* i can't bring myself to answer it. I will over check my answer and force my mouth to say it. But my heart will start racing, my breathing goes fast, my mouth locked and my body'll start shaking a little. And then someone will answer it instead and that got me really regret and angry with myself.
I feel tired 24/7 even if i've slept *far too much.*
And the list goes on like other people in this comment section. What am i suppose to do? Today when i was about to sleep (almost fall asleep, i could barely maintain my consciousness), suddenly i just couldn't breath. It was really frightening i thought i'm dying. I was thinking if i don't breath rn i'll die. And i forced myself to breath and i able to calm down after that, and slept, with nightmares.
Really, what am i suppose to do? What exactly happened to me?
I avoid talking to anyone that's not my girlfriend of 3 years. That includes my best friend of 5 years, my brother and my parents. I never go to parties people invite and never go to a friends house unless its my girlfriends friend also, in which ill tag along if its for a specific purpouse. Idk I just feel insecure talking to people and thinking everything that I do is making everyone around me not like me. Ive gotten good at small talk and socializing over the past few years, but unless youre socializing with a wall, you usually need people to socialize with. And fuck people
I hate when I go to school and I go to class, walking in the hallways I feel so awkward, and I always think people are looking at me and judging me. It’s awful, I wish I could be more confident like other people. Also whenever I’m in class, I get so anxious and I flinch Bc of this. It’s so weird but I feel like I have social anxiety only in a one specific place, and that’s school. At home, I’m normal and I can talk to my family easily cause I’m really close to them. But then when school comes, my anxiety is worse. Idk why that happens does that happen to anyone else too?
One sure way to overcome it is remembering that nobody is thinking of you or judging you from a distance. People tend to worry only about themselves and once you realize this, massive clarity ensues and gives you piece of mind.
hey when I see Someone I get a strong panic attack ..
I cant talk normally
Same happens when I talk to a stranger... I way I talk changes
I act so shy
But I suddenly become extrovert when I talk to close ones
Alright People in the comments i need to know if im shy or have social anexity i believe i have social anexity but i wanna hear from yall
Okay soooo i panic whenever someone talks to me at school...i have panic attacks about going to school in the morning and it leads to me missing alot of days...i hate going into stores bc i think that people are judging me....i hateeee when poeple try to call me on the phone i freak out.....i over think things alot and it makes me avoid certain things like relationship,going places,doing things i love as a 14 year old.......okay so yall go ahead and say what yall think
Ok here’s the thing... I don’t think I’m shy. But I do think I kind of a bit of social anxiety.
The thing is I’m extremely outgoing with my close friends and most of my family. But walking on the school grounds and walking on the street, I automically stick my head in my phone as to not appear “lonely” - I genuinely believe that every person I pass by in the street is judging me for some reason or another. With my family it’s also extremely difficult for me to express emotion or express any problems I may have.
At school I’ll never raise my hand, and I’ll never ask to go to the toilet because my mind thinks that every time I speak everyone’s judging me. Honestly I feel like every single person judges me. Even though they probably don’t.
I take surf lessons. One day, I forgot my wetsuit. So I had to go up to one of the teachers and ask for one. I was so scared of going up to them and asking them for one, that I said to my mum “ no no”. This carried on for a good half an hour with my mum pulling at me, trying to go and get myself a wetsuit. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I know I'm not shy. My problem with the social anxiety is the fear of being judged. Sometimes I can't speak with someone, like a shy person, but usually I do it, and the fear of judgement often makes me misspell words, say nonsense things or simply over analyzing that conversation later, concluding that the person probably thinks that I'm an insane freak
I will avoid any social situations. I stopped going to my college classes because I was afraid of what people may think of me. This anxiety has completely taken over my life. I started meds to help with it and I feel a lil better. But the thought of the therapy I will soon be starting freaks me out. Thoughts like what if they think I'm weird or ugly constantly race through my head. It's hard living with this anxiety and I'll do anything to make it go away.
My psychologist acually diagnosed me with social anxiety because I told her everything I do when I have to talk in front of class and when I get my food and I talk really low and don't even make the slightest eye contact with people and when I have to talk in front of class my voice shakes and my hands shake and in a public restaurant i have to get really close for them to hear me or ny sister orders for me I even learned sign language so people don't talk to me
“How am i going to approach this person” “what should i say” “someones trying to talk to me just ignore them and walk on” “oh no a group of people i hope they ignore me” “that guy seems cool but what do i say to him?”
These are things I did when I was in public school:
- NEVER raised my hand. I always think that I'm so stupid and if the teacher called on me I would stutter a little and if I said the wrong answer I thought people would think I was dumb.
- I never liked it when people looked at me. Makes me uncomfortable.
- Whenever people who I just met or I don't know well talk to me, my heart starts racing, I don't make much eye contact, I stutter a little, I accidently jumble up my words sometimes, and I breathe kinda heavily.
- Now that I'm homeschooled, I have meetings with my teacher every week. I do NOT like seeing her. She is so nice and sweet, but, you know. I just want to stay home all day. I don't want to talk to anybody. Also, every week I go to a classroom with like 8 people in it and I do my work for 2 hours. I hate that even more. Everybody is really nice there, but I don't want to talk to them.
I've had this for almost my whole life. I'm 11. Am I just shy or do I have social anxiety?
So Yesterday i had to give a presantation in front of +/- 20 people , I was shaking and my hands were sweating. During the presentation i started crying bc everyone was looking at me. I have SAD for 4years now, I always talked with everyone but i’ve got bullied for 2years and I lost faith in people, I still have no faith in people. I’ve been dealing with depression, but nobody knows bc I’m scared to tell people and with there reactions would be. I would want to tell you so much more but my English isn’t my mother language and I’m not that good at it, and I also have dyslexic. Thank you for reading this and I’m sorry I bored you with my story.
I’m too scared to order at subway because I worry that I’ll annoy the worker when I’m telling them what I want in my sandwich or I’ll freak out and forget what I want? Idk I always like to have my order pre planned and laid out in my mind so that I don’t embarrass myself. Am I the only one that feels this type of way.
(Yes I have never eaten subway due to this stupid thought)
I don't know if I have social anxiety or I'm just shy cuz when ever there's attention on me I always turn red. When ever I want to talk to the teacher or get something in the front of the class I just feel awarded. The only time I'm comfortable is when I'm with friends. And it's also hard for me to social to ppl cuz I think that they think I'm weird not going to talk to me ever
I stopped spending the night at my friends house because when i said i would go over to her house the pressure would build up throughout the day and i wouldn't want to go over anymore but i was to scared to tell her i didnt want to go over to her house anymore and now i haven't spent the night at her house in almost 2 years and she always makes me feel so guilty when i dont go over there and when i try to tell her how I feel she bombards me with her problems it's great.
I don't even know where I fall in in terms of shyness vs. social anxiety. I wouldn't raise my hand, even if I know the answer. Sometimes I want to do it, but my body just doesn't comply... The last time I willingly raised my hand was at the beginning of the school year last year. It took a lot to do just one damn action. My mind was having a battle over whether I should raise my hand or not because everyone else was getting the question wrong. If I have a presentation, I would just prepare as best I can, try to push my anxiety away, then push through the presentation. Sometimes I stutter and feel incredibly nervous, other times I don't feel quite as nervous. Just recently, when we had to do a little introduction in class, I was getting nervous and shivering in my seat even though it wasn't that cold in the room. Then, when it was my turn, a sudden stillness just overcame me. I still stuttered and avoided making eye contact, but I didn't feel as nervous, and I stopped shivering.
Wondering why my mind's so complicated is like wondering what the purpose of life is. I've been going to counseling for a few months now, but I don't think the counselor's labelled me as having social anxiety, so we're just working on boosting my confidence and getting me to interact with others more. It's harder than it sounds, and I've made no progress whatsoever. I'm also withdrawn from my parents, and the only person I really talk to and get to be myself is with my sister. I know asking people on the internet is far from ideal, but I feel like my counselor isn't doing a good job of it either.
Last week I had an exam where I had to speak in front of a camera as well as three close friends and my teacher. Leading up to the exam, everyone told me I would be more comfortable after talking for a few minutes. I fully convinced myself I would be fine but as soon as I introduced myself, I began to shake so badly I thought I would drop my paper on the floor. My voice was shaky, I forgot what to say and I failed to make eye contact. As my presentation came to a close, my nerves became worse and when I sat back down afterwards, I almost had a panic attack but quickly urged myself to calm down for the sake of not making a fuss. This was my first proper experience with what I believe to be social anxiety because before hand I always knew I was shy but not to the point where I couldn’t talk in front of four people without almost crying.
In my new class everyone will say “I have social anxiety” as an excuse to not do certain presentations or whatever ... it bugs me so much because I actually do have social anxiety and have been struggling to live with it my whole life! And when they just use it and even mock the word it makes me feel idk invalidated in a way or as if I’m wrong idk..
Thank you for the great resources here. I had dealt with low self-esteem attacks, panic attacks, fear of busy places, and fear of intimacy for years. I became a hermit in my house. My family begged me to get help but I couldn't fathom talking to a stranger. Finally, I came across a social anxiety, panic attack reprograming set of videos. I can say with confidence now that I am at least 60% better. I can even get through major department stores without an attack incident. This helped https://bit.ly/2D4Mjg5