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Is taking a break really a breakup?

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Cristen offers tips for taking a break from a dating relationship without it resulting in a breakup. Plus, a very Professorial cameo... Share this on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1izyCXw Share this on Twitter: http://ctt.ec/33Iu9 Subscribe: http://bit.ly/1l8JXv3 On the web: http://www.stuffmomnevertoldyou.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/momstuffpodcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StuffMomNeverToldYou Google+: http://bit.ly/1kNchOQ Tumblr: http://stuffmomnevertoldyou.tumblr.com/ Instagram: http://instagram.com/stuffmomnevertoldyou# Sources: http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/sc-fam-0303-taking-a--break-20150224-story.html http://spr.sagepub.com/content/31/3/410.abstract http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/fare.12126/abstract;jsessionid=F7D9C13103D71E02CA88F39D371D1259.f04t04 http://health.usnews.com/health-news/news/articles/2012/02/23/second-chance-romance-might-not-bring-happiness http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424053111904140604576496240815891366 Join Cristen to get down to the business of being a woman and all the Stuff Mom Never Told You about bodies, boys and the female brain.
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Text Comments (307)
Coco Nut (6 hours ago)
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 days, and he still is stuck on his ex. I spent my whole night crying and he took me out of depression. I have guy best friends that are his best friends so I’m crying to them now
penguin meat (10 days ago)
I feel that breaks, like you said, can be good and bad. I was in a relationship before and we used to take breaks all the time it was on again and off again but really it was just impending towards what ultimately needed to happen in our toxic relationship. Right now I am in a different relationship with a different person, and right now the other person is not feeling great and like they need to sort them self out and right now I really am feeling the same way. And while I feel as though we are trying to help one another it is making us hurt one another more than anything. So while there are things that bother me about him I feel like this break with just be a break because we need to work on ourselves. And hopefully this won’t be like my last relationship where i am trying to glue the pieces of a bomb shell back together. I feel as though if we sort our things out and get it together we can really be good for one another. And for anyone who is interested in more background info for our situation; I just got out of school and my plans didn’t turn out the way I expected and I am currently dealing with that, but my anxiety is making everything 10 times worse. He is still in school and he is frustrated at what is going on and what he can handle and what is going to happen next for him after school. And like I said I was hoping we could be there to help one another, but that just didn’t happen, but the important thing and the reason why I feel that this break is just going to be a break is that we both really did try to help one another. In my last relationship I didn’t really see too much effort coming from the other end. So hopefully things work out. But if any of you feel as though you’re in a toxic relationship and are ever asking yourself that question and find yourself repeatedly asking yourself multiple times maybe a long term break would b event for your relationship. I hope I can help or someone can relate and feel less alone :)
Sarcastic Savage (23 days ago)
My girlfriend is taking a fucking qoute on qoute brake she knows she was the only thing stoping me from picking up a knife and fucking hurting myself
cdog2700 (1 month ago)
Currently going through a break rn because my gf is really depressed rn and has big anxiety issues, It's super tough not being able to say I love you or watch movies and stuff. But I have a feeling that in two weeks it may be resolved as she seems to be doing better on social media.
kyle kloberdanz (1 month ago)
Hey me and my girlfriend has been dating for 2 years and a month now I am a senior at high school and she is a junior me and her have been through a lot of good time we travel together with our parents in that but recently she said she wants to take a two-week break because me and her been arguing a little bit do you think that is the right thing to do please text me or email me my number is 719 229-6543 and my email is Kyle.kloberdanz16@gmail.com
Jessica Vangel (1 month ago)
This video is old but I just wanted to comment that its so INCREDIBLY helpful. I'm going through a very similar situation right now with my boyfriend of 2 years. Our relationship is good and we both love each other but he is really depressed and wants time to himself for a month or two which includes getting his own studio apartment for that time. This video made me feel a lot better about all of this.
Ivandro Manuel Pereira (2 months ago)
I am currently going through some trouble. My girlfriend and I kept having fights and I have been depending on her too much. She asked for a two month break, I have been following the 30 day rule. She called me 5 days ago telling me it's an emergency since we agreed to only talking when it's an emergency situation. She called asking for help, her PC had some problems, but she was giving signs that she wanted attention. But just yesterday she posted on her status spending her day with her "God brother" she even included a heart emoji, and then another status of him kissing her cheek , her sister told me not to worry about it. I didn't like it at all, because the way they looked it's like there is a thing going on. So I was thinking of calling her and tell that I am going to be in her town this weekend to sit and talk about what is this we are doing and what we both want. I do not want to get my hopes up and then after the two months she has moved on and I end up devastated. I really need your help on this one to know if I am doing the right choice.
Erika Nance (2 months ago)
My issues with breaks for personal reasons is that in a relationship, you're supposed to be a team. Like I get needing space for a little, but a break? I feel that's drastic and it brings on unneeded heartbreak
Geo Munoz (2 months ago)
I actually am in the middle of something like a break but I don't know how to take it see this girl she's had a lot of family issues and she wanted time to sort things out for herself cuz she just hasn't had time to be around me or like she feels like she's not doing things right or something like that and she has to take a break you know to sort her issues out that she's got going on is that a break up or is that one that I should actually consider being a real break cuz I am so lost it's not even funny
Hazy Hollie (2 months ago)
My ‘boyfriend’ asked me to take a break for a bit. I said okay fair enough (I’ve always said if he wants space he can have it) but it’s really stressing me out he said he wants time to think about his feelings and stuff but like what the hell. I feel so upset I can’t even stop crying because I’m so depressed
Libra Foxx (2 months ago)
Do you have a email or Facebook to where people can message you personally and ask for advice?
earth ocean (3 months ago)
These 2 are SUPER CUTE!! 😍 I've recently reconnected w "the love of my life" after 17 years apart...am hoping we have the courage to make it solid this time!
PineappleKuri (3 months ago)
Not really a break from a relationship if you're fucking someone else. That's fucking cheating lol?
עינת רויטמן (3 months ago)
So me and my boyfriend are 3 years together and we live together but we are stuck and can't move forward with our relationship. I'm my boyfriend's first girlfriend and he didn't have much experience in datibg before me. He want's to take a break of 3 months to travel and expirience flings with other girls (nothing serious) because he will regret it if he wont ever do that. He says he belives he wants us to come back together afterwards and he needs this to be sure about us and make the last step to marrige. But it's kind of hearts that he wants to have sex with other girls, even if we are on a break and i an not sure if i can trust that he will come back to me. Our everyday relationship is very loving and cuddely and we make a great team but i don't know what to do about this. Do i need to be mad and act with more self respect and break up for good in this situation? Or do i except this break and let him do what he feels he needs to do to be ok with himself and have no regrets? I don't want to be the reason he regreats he missed some expirience but how can i trust he will come back to me after he goes "exploring"? Please help..🙏
music lover xD (3 months ago)
You need to help me i love my gf so much but she wanted to breakup witg me what should i do😣😣😣
music lover xD (3 months ago)
*with me
Ryan Baez (4 months ago)
I'm kinda going thru the same thing. I been with my girlfriend for almost 6 months. Although I'm 17 years old and she is 16, i love her deeply and i never want to lose her. She wanted a break out of nowhere, and as i asked her will we be back together her response was "maybe". This by far been the worse week of my life, and summer just started, i graduated high school on my way to college, I'm lost, confuse, and hurt. She said she wants the summer to be single, it hurts me because she is talking to another boy way more than me, and especially she asked to hang up our FaceTime call last night because the other boy was calling her. He have always been happy with each other, we will have minor arguments but never this big, also she has been lying to me about the other boy. It took her a week to tell me about him when she started talking to him, how should i go about this ?
Jackie Chan plz adopt me (4 months ago)
My boyfriend is very depressed and possibly suicidal. I've put all my time and effort into making him better and it's worked some but not a lot. He said that he was going down to Kansas to get a therapy dog and when he goes down there he thinks it's a good idea if he spaces himself from everyone and try to get his life back on track. He told me this today and I have to say that it hurt. I know he loves me and doesn't want to break up but he does want to spend some time apart. All I want is what's best for him but I know it will be hard. I NEED some advice on how to get through it.
Veronica Solo (5 months ago)
I'm currently on a break. But I don't know if it's a break or break up. I'm really depressed.
sara breezy (5 months ago)
It’s been 4 days that we are on a break
Daya Tom (5 months ago)
We had a fight (the first time he saw me angry) and then his feelings for me disappeared.. so he said he needs a break to figure things out, but doesn't know if it's a break or a break up.. We didn't set any time frame. It's been a horrible week. No contact, no nothing. Feels like I just lost him. :( And we were together half a year and barely fought twice. It was amazing before this sudden heartache.
Clay Allison (6 months ago)
Men, if she says, "I want to take a break," walk away. She doesn't respect you enough, to endure the hardships of a relationship...She does this, so she can exploit other options (men), which can fulfill her needs (whether financial, emotional, or even physical). Once you can't provide those any longer, she will discard you, immediately. EDIT: LOL, she says, "Maybe you want to sleep around with other people..." Do YOU have any idea how much pain that man will feel, when he knows his girlfriend has slept with someone else...?
Bao Nhi Than (6 months ago)
Me and my fiance are going through this right now, i issued the break fkr 2-3 days... I really love him with all my heart, he also loves me too... sometimes it better to go through the problems and sort out what is going on with the relationship. My relationship with him is up and down like a rollercoaster, but i reminded myself of how we first met... that is my booster of how im going to make my relationship work out. For couples out there, you'll need to sort out what your problems are that is probably still buried down in the dirt, just sort it out and just brainstorm of how you two can work it out.
Samantha K (6 months ago)
I'm on the last day of mine and my boyfriend's no communication at all ten day break today. This video really helped me. I wish I saw it on day one!
Champagne Gillette (6 months ago)
On and off again relationships?
Bsd2830 (6 months ago)
My girlfriend and I are taking one right now, I am not a fan of it one bit but it seems that it is needed. She hasn't been eating as much, energy is low and she is almost always sleeping or taking naps, been very moody lately and just wants to lay on the couch all day. Not really sure how to approach it but just going to send a text every so often saying that I'm there for her and hope she gets better.
Macca 95 (6 months ago)
Going through this now currently 3 days in out of a "week" break and it's killing me as we've been together 4 1/2 years! , I tried saying night to her the first night and she just replied that was a short week... Wat. I've bought her a new dress so I can take her out for a meal the day I go down and make her feel special (she's at uni so can't see each other all the time) tried apologising for not being their as much and telling her how much she actually means to me but she didn't reply. Which hurts the most.. Doesn't help reading about it online as people seem to suggest a break is a kind way of breaking up or she'll be shagging round for a week and it's an excuse to not call it cheating. She's not like that she'd keep her dignity and if she wanted to breakup she's the type what would just do it. It's caused my anxiety to flare up again (took me over a year last time to break the cycle of attacks) I've hardly eaten or slept much
dark phanthom (6 months ago)
if a woman said she want to take a break dumb her immediately , you'll thank me later .
Jay n Kai (7 months ago)
My boyfriend wanted to take a break and said we are moving too fast because I said I was a bit afraid, because we are in our twenties and I have a child (from my previous boyfriend) and he started dating me after the fact, so I basically told him my fears as to why he would want to be with me as a single mother. And because of how my sons father did me during our “break” my trust issues have grow immensely. So he suggested to take a break and he said we’d get back together. We text sometimes and I’m pretty sure he’s not going to leave. But he didn’t give a time limit! And I feel like because we are days in this and I don’t want to annoy him about it, I’m afraid to ask. Also, he said he’s taking a break for us and we haven’t set any ground rule except “if you feel like you want to date someone else let me know first”. I feel like I screwed up and should of kept my big mouth shut
Kimberly carelli (8 months ago)
Right now I’m taking a break with my boyfriend / father of our child of five years. We have been off and on because we fight a lot and have trust issues with each other. He’s my best friend and we have this love that is out of this world. I really want to work this out because I don’t want to lose what I think is my forever soul mate. I’m question is, Do we need to have a title or should we take a break but still remain working on each other as a couple. How do we fix our trust issues?
GreeningGamer (9 months ago)
Just broke up with someone I had spent 6 years with... waste of time but whatever.
Isabela LL (9 months ago)
"What do you think about taking a break from a relationship? Have you had experience with that?" I haven't even had any experience in relationships at all
Luis Carlos (10 months ago)
My wife took a break in our relationship after seventeen years of marriage but I scared that we don't get back together.
truthtoknow (10 months ago)
This is a though one. It's very common to adhere to each other's worse selves which makes any personal improvement very hard. At the same time, if someone wants to improve and stay with the other, they will need to learn how to handle situations with their partner better. Also, if the problem is disconnection, a break only makes things worse. I personally don't believe in breaks. If we can't get over something together, it just means we as our present selves shouldn't be together. Plus, if we could change for the better and see things more clearly after the breakup, it's still possible to start dating again. I just don't find it ethical to put another person aside if you are really important to each other. My opinion is that in such a situation you should admit that you need time for yourself and take responsibility for that by not expecting the other to be around. Breaks also seem to be used as hidden threats and it is also not okay. If there is something you really want to change about the other person, have a talk about it, and if they agree, do your best to help them and be patient. If they don't seem to improve, just get out. There's no point in being with someone whose behaviour - in one way or another - isn't acceptable for you.
wolvie wolf (11 months ago)
My girlfriend and I have been together for three years with plans for our future. However, she wants to take a break because of the high level of stress from her job. Therefore she has decided to block me on all social media and avoid all contact. How should I approach this?
Deepak Mishra (1 year ago)
My girlfriend is making relationship with her ex boyfriend while taking me a break. Is she doing right?
Dj Crazy (1 year ago)
+stuffmomnevertoldyou I'm currently in this kind of situation. The one I love is going through so much and had to cut ties with me. He still loves me and wants to be together I just don't know how to cope with this. I love him so much but I feel weird and sad all the time because of this. Can you help me?
khirsten marie (1 year ago)
we're 15 and been together for a little over a year, our relationship is wonderful and we've planned our future and he wants a break because he's stressed, its kinda long distance we haven't been aloud to see each other for about a month and 1/2 and I have know idea what to do help
stevaughn williams (1 year ago)
I'm totally screwed my situation is kinda in between
Wasaby Neko (1 year ago)
Me and my bf having a break right now, before that he has done things to hurted me many times and then i started to reject his love towards me because of the pain he brought to me, we have been tgt for two years now and we have been keep on constantly fighting for a month to two and now he said he want a break to him self, i told him my concern about the break he told me he just want some times to him self to brush off the negativity and he still love me and he told me don't worry about him leaving or find another because he won't. I don't know what to do, because of the past that he hurt me i don't really trust him, everytime i told him about it he just told me that what i'm trying to do is making himself pull off further away from me to the point he might not even want it anymore and he do not like that. Should i trust him more and give him time?
Cara AJL (1 year ago)
Currently going through a 'break'. It's the first 24hrs and it feels like the day my grandmother died when i was 12years old. Except that it is worse. Practically spent the entire day and night crying. Last thing i saw in my mind before I felt asleep crying was him. First thing in my mind when I woke up crying was him. Crying while showering, while studying, while walking. Not much appetite but when i finally ate, I was crying. I found myself crying wherever I am, whatever I may be doing. Then I finally dragged myself to go for a run, thinking I'll be distracted. Ended up crying while running. It's a very painful feeling, as if I'm suffocated to death. Wanted to just collapse on the track and die. I'm 2 weeks to examinations but the break will last for a month. He didn't want to settle the issues then and there because the situation is confusing, he felt overwhelmed and needed time to think. And maybe he didnt want me to be too heartbroken just before my exams began if we indeed broke UP. I don't know how I'm going to cope now. The greatest fear is the end of the one month break. The greatest fear is losing him. The feeling of abandonment by the person you loved the most is excruciating.
Dylan Depaula (8 days ago)
I'm scared that I'll lose potential with my girlfriend. I know we love one another, but she wants to take time to think, and it sucks cause lately things have been going according to plan..but she has a lot going on to where she's scared of how she'll function, and being in a commited relationship is making the stress worse..i want to end up coming to a good consensus and stay together..but how do i know yet?
Zee Khan (2 months ago)
Cara AJL What was the outcome of your break? Did youse end up back together??
Ryan Babbs (2 months ago)
I’m currently going through the same situation with my girlfriend and it’s been about a month into it. Right after the break happened I also lost my job. I graduated college and she has one semester left and she said she has too much going on and she can’t love me the way she wants to. It sucks being without her and nothing feels right.
jehad adel (3 months ago)
yes agreed
greg Thompson (4 months ago)
Cara AJL I am in the same situation too and you pretty much described how it's going for me
Antoniou 95 (1 year ago)
Legit was 15 seconds in and I subscribed. You have a lovely vibeeee!
TheReal BaileyChaput (1 year ago)
My gf and I (LDR of 4 years) had a few fights recently and even broke it off for a bit. We got back together and about a month later she said that she wants to take a break, because she's tired of having to "check in". And by that I mean simple things like "Good night" "I'm going out" "good morning" etc. I genuinely don't mind as I would tell her stuff like "Imma head out with some friends, I'll text you when I get back" or "Imma be at the gym, text me when you get home." Simple things like that. I don't mind if she goes out with friends or anything... There would be some days I just don't hear from her, which annoy me, especially since I get the cold shoulder if I'm ever to not text her all day. She deactivated her Facebook before calling for the break then reactivated it the day later and has blocked me from seeing any of her newer posts but not her profile. Any advice? I'm giving her the space she needs, but her posts on Instigram, make it seem like she's "Giving up" and "Moving on".
Stan Barkworth (1 year ago)
Me and my girlfriend have dated for a year and a half and we only really started to be off with each other last month. We're both 17 and love eachother w lot but we both work, have college and wayyy too much college work for time for eachother at the moment. Took her for coffee and today we decided to be friends and maybe in the future try again when we aren't as busy. Did she really want to end it entirely or are we just at a difficult part of time where it is near impossible to balance work, education and our relationship?
Gaming Goof (1 year ago)
After almost 10 years i kinda got lazy and didnt do much around the place. We are in the process of buying our first house together(after living in rentals for years) and she decided she wanted to move into it alone and let me go and fix my problems but still try to talk and very slowly restart our relationship. and become a more productive, loving man. Thats what she says but it feels like im being kicked to the curb right before we were about to make our life decision to live together in a new home with our two kids. Now i will be alone, wont kiss my kids goodnight and tuck them in, wont wake up to her and my kids at my bed, or come home to them running to the door to see me. It kills me inside. I should have been a better man to her and my kids but i feel like now its too late. I was with her for almost ten years and in one week her and my kids and my life were gone.
B Lee (6 months ago)
Gaming Goof Have You'll Worked Things Out?
heloise sell (1 year ago)
My boyfriend and I decided to take a break last night because we were both feeling sad in our relationship. He felt sad because he had so much other stuff on his mind and didn't have enough time to see me or to make me feel loved like he had before. I felt sad because our relationship didn't feel the same as it did before, me feeling like he didn't love me as much anymore. We discussed it and we both felt like it was the best decision for now. We love each other very much and agreed on not seeing other people. We also agreed on the fact that we wanted this break so that he can focus on himself and make me feel good again after, so that we can improve our relationship. We both want to get back together in 3 weeks or so, but whenever we miss eachother we will consider getting back together sooner. I really hope this is the right thing to do. We didn't want to break up because we are very much in love and don't want to end it completely, knowing that we would probably miss each other too much and get back together anyway.
Harper Bentley (11 months ago)
heloise sell still now?
heloise sell (1 year ago)
Cara AJL We got back together one week after and everything is great now :)
Cara AJL (1 year ago)
how did it go? xoxo
darkherosolidox (1 year ago)
So me and my girlfriend for the past few weeks since Valentines day we been arguing alot. She's also someone that needs a lot of attention and that we live 40 minutes apart from each other. We see each other days out of a month what's not really enough. We both live with our parents. Am 22 years old who's working on my license and she is 19. My mom works 2 jobs what's makes it very hard for her to be home so my girlfriend is able to come over cause of her parents are worried of us always having sex. That's what ever. The real issue is that she has depression and anxiety what make her always depressed after almost a week of not being able to see me. I also work 5 days a week during the week for the department of health. So my schedule is really busy and tight for time on the one day of the week she can come over what is Sunday. Alot of the decisions she makes doesn't even ask my opinion on. She just said I need a break and I need time to my self to short out stuff in my head. She didn't barter to discuss how long she needs nothing. I just don't know and would greatly appreciate any advice. We been dating since last October and do have plans to want to get our own home together in the next year or to.
Jasper Perez (1 year ago)
How did it go?
Kylie Villasenor (1 year ago)
Okay, so recently my boyfriend seemed to be drifting away from me. He wasn't putting in effort to see me or talk to me like he used to, hardly at all really. It felt like I was the only one fighting for us and trying to work out and balance our individual needs. I gave him space, only texted for about ten minutes at the end of the day. This was fine until he started putting no effort into even that, with short replies and no affection. Basically small talk. It was agonizing, so I confronted him about it. We decided to talk in person, and when we did, he explained that he has been taking me very much for granted, that many things are changing in his life and he hardly has time to even focus on himself anymore. He apologized for his actions (or lack of), assured me that he truly still loves me, and said we needed to take a break. That we should go back to being friends for a while, give him time to work things out. So...I agreed. It's been less than a week, and I'm am in shambles. Since he said 'friends' we don't tell each other 'I love you' anymore. I recently contacted him to clarify the rules on seeing other people, as they weren't addressed. We both don't plan on seeing others. But I don't know what to do, I don't know where my boundaries are anymore. It's so stressful, but I feel like my line to talk to him about it is closed. Any ideas on how to handle this?
Alina Vlad (1 year ago)
Kylie Villasenor hey how Did it work FOR u and ur bf?
anass a (1 year ago)
i have a girlfriend that needs a break because she has some issues with her family. And we only have been 1 month together.
Restu Widi Wijayanti (1 year ago)
anass a we've same problems. And then what happens to you two? :")
Ravenwolf (1 year ago)
Does that they need to solve real life problems and need to take a break from relationships still lead to the road to breakups?
Akre (1 year ago)
I am going through this right now..... it hurts so bad and it's such an empty feeling....... but in my situation I think maybe taking a break for a couple of days or weeks would be healthy bc my girl needs to love herself before she can love anyone... but we aren't gonna even dare to see anyone else. WE ARE CRAZY FOR EACH OTHER and we don't want anyone else. Anyways thank you so much for this video!!!! I'm having such a hard time going through this! God bless! 🙏🏼😭
Bryan Javier (7 months ago)
I feel you
Someone Someone (1 year ago)
Akre how did it go?
Michaela Macvilla (1 year ago)
my bf wants to take a break because we argue to much
kamaria qualls (2 years ago)
so lately my man has been very distant and off lately we got into a argument and then i found out the real reason before we got back together he had founded out that he was having a son and we haven't necessarily talked about taking a break but he has told my one of relatives that we needed a break what should I do!!!? I love him so much!
Killer Phantom (2 years ago)
Long story short my girl was angry cause some personal issues and she asked me if I wanted a break and I said no they turns out she wanted a break and she said it was all out of anger and mood swings and she does have mood swings and I was able to tell she was upset , we are in s long distance , she doesn't live far only 20 minutes away cause her parents don't let her go out. I miss her but idk if I want to get back with her ... Parts say I do and parts say I don't ... She wants to and idk what to do
Emily Exploring Earth (2 years ago)
Love these video's ! Just discovered your channel and have been binge watching... need to stop ...but your personality and topics are just so interesting to watch!
MasterChief0093 (2 years ago)
Currently in a "break" right now after a communication failure. I tried repeatedly to talk so I could understand something when she didn't want to talk. So finally she said we needed a break from this and eachother... I tried to understand whether she meant we needed to just not talk for a while or whether we are not together anymore. I still don't know... its been like 2 weeks. I'll give it some time... but if I don't hear back after something I'd consider too long, then I'll just end it I guess.
funny18 (1 year ago)
MasterChief0093 so what happened?
Funky Fresh kidoo (2 years ago)
I'm so confused
Shine Bright Design (2 years ago)
Im in the same situation ^ Its hard but im getting better with baby steps <3 this really helped me
Jeon flo (2 years ago)
Me and my ex said we wanted to take a break but meaning we broke up and this happened two months ago. We haven't talked to each other but I miss him and idk if I should txt him. I really want to txt him and see how's he doing, so should I talk to him or no?? I don't want to make things awkward tho.
sɪᴛʜʟᴇss (2 years ago)
Me and my girlfriend are taking a break for the week cause she's been distance lately and I have been clingy lately. How will this work out in a ldr?
sɪᴛʜʟᴇss (2 years ago)
That sucks.
Aligatooor (2 years ago)
Same, nah. We just completely broke up too.
sɪᴛʜʟᴇss (2 years ago)
We broke up..
Aligatooor (2 years ago)
Oooh, I kind of feel for that one! My girlfriend and I are taking a break until after my SATs, so that she can focus on getting better with her mental health and so that I can focus on my grades. We are also long distance, but I am hoping to get back together before Christmas break so that I can I still visit her then. We just decided today to take a break and we're going to talk more about it later tonight...How did things work out between you and your girlfriend?
Carlee Smith (2 years ago)
your studies are worthless pieces of shit
Carlee Smith (2 years ago)
50% of the time?!?!? how is that proof of ANYTHING
Steven Taylor Torres (2 years ago)
im going thru a horrible break i dont know what to do my life is spiraling outa controll .
N Bson (2 years ago)
Yes I have taken a break for us to sort things out- at that point we had been together for about 4 years and it was heartbreaking to go through with the break, but ultimately we did come back together and I feel it has made us stronger, more appreciative, more caring, more loving.  It was difficult for me when we came back together in the beginning (even though I wanted it) because I found myself being really insecure for a few weeks of us starting back up again because I was questioning myself about what he was up to during the break- were there other girls, do I even WANT to know if there were other girls, did he miss me, was he as upset as I was, is this the right decision afterall, am I missing out on something else/wasting time and so much more thoughts flooded my mind during that time.  I found myself feeling a bit crazy and over-analytical of things the first few weeks to a month after starting back up.  It wasn't easy, but nothing worth having comes easy.  It was hard for me not to wonder what happened during that break or if I even wanted to know what happened.  We have been back together now for awhile and it seems our bond is so much stronger and more directed.
xfaaipdeoiad (3 months ago)
N Bson
Hank Hill (11 months ago)
Please update. Are you guys still together?
Mereylen Denora (1 year ago)
N Bson did you guys set a time frame? Or did you just let things happen on their own where you eventually got back together?
Samson Medare (2 years ago)
very good topic ,literally just came on here to see peoples advice cuz I'm having a break with my gf/fiancée. I've had a break before and it seemed to be beneficial but that was over w completely different thing .the "break " I'm having right now is mainly because we want to make sure that were happy with our own selves than to continue living each other when naturally there isn't much self love. I feel if your going to become part of any form of relationship is to begin to think about urself so that u can realise and make sure that a relationship is what you want
Sam L (2 years ago)
More Professor Fiance!
Morgan Clauss (2 years ago)
To all the people reading this, you can take advice from here but at the end of the day it is your relationship. Your belief in that other person is what matters, some people may have had a break and broken up and others love may have been stronger and they took a break and ended up back together. Love the person the same as you would when you're together and you watch what happens when you rekindle your romance, the butterflies will come back, the heart will grow even stronger. It is not a break that breaks up couples, it is people losing belief and faith, keep that in your partner and I can guarantee your shot is as high as anyones if your love is and has been true.
Morgan Clauss (2 years ago)
Hey girl, you're completely welcome. Looking back on when I made this comment I was on a break myself, now I am with someone completely different. Someone who understands me and always looks after me. I never thought I would get over my first boyfriend but it took me the break to realise he was definitely the wrong person for me. A great person, just not great for me. My comment still completely stands, but never ever be afraid to walk away for what is better for you in every situation. You should be first priority for yourself. I hope everything turns out great for your sake! xx
Kristi Lay (2 years ago)
Thankyou for these words, as I am dealing with this "break" Im even the one who made the choice. It is scary to think what will happen after the break. Whether rekindled or not.
Lisanne Lasure (2 years ago)
I was in a relationship once that left me feeling suffocated for a lot of different reasons. I wanted to call it off, but our families were so close and I knew a lot of people would have their feelings hurt if I did it. I really needed to be alone for a while to deal with my anxiety and depression, but I felt like I wasn't allowed to leave him. He ended up suggesting a break, which I readily agreed to, and then in the middle of the break I was able to find the courage to do what I needed to do for myself and tell him it was over, even though lots of people were upset about it.
Do Sanjh (2 years ago)
I'm currently taking a 3 day (bf said 3 days only) break with my long distance boyfriend. It's only been day 1 and I'm missing him a lot now 😢 I wanted the break cause the relationship felt like too much for me and taking a break would be best for me. Also tomorrow is our 5 month anniversary. Earlier this evening, he called but I missed the call. Even though, we're on a break.. He wants small talk and wants a voice SMS from me. Cause he says it's not possible for me to not talk with you. I miss him now.. What should I do? Should I forget about the break or continue on with it? 😞
MollyEliza (1 year ago)
Miss Dosanjh its all up to you, its sounds as though he really misses you also, and wants to talk, if you really feel strongly about being with him too, then why not give it a go! Hope things turn out okay x
TheNovelNovelist (2 years ago)
Great points in this video! To me I think the best type of "break" is a situation in which just due to circumstances the people need to do their own thing for awhile and may be better off not also juggling a relationship during that time. For example if one of the people is on an extended trip, temporarily living somewhere else for work or school, maybe relocating to care for an ailing family member or work on some other special project, that type of thing. Not to say that whenever this happens in a relationship people should always take a break, just that I can see the benefit of it for some couples and relationships. If you're spending your whole day doing something intensive and time consuming, and you're also in a distant location from your S.O. then I totally get why it makes sense to not also have to feel the pressure of stopping what you're doing to call or text on a regular basis, or even to be mentally and emotionally invested in the relationship during that time. I think it's fine to take some time and say, "Let's pick back up when this is over." Definitely I think the 'conditions' of the break are important. I think it's fine or not - depending on what the couple wants to do - whether or not they're allowed to see other people, or whether the break is more structured or not. Like "we're definitely getting back together." vs. "We'll get back together if we're both single and/or if it's something we both still want."
D Pham (2 years ago)
Me and my girlfriend literally just took a break in our relationship as I take this. We've been dating since 31st December 2015. We're taking a break because she feels suffocated in a way, I totally understand her as she has been my only true partner, I still love her and I hope she loves me too but I completely understand how and why she needs space. How do I act right now and what should I do? If you see this A, well, what a coincidence but I'm going to change and things will get better. x
Unknown Gamer117 (1 month ago)
Skrub Adubabdub it will make worse just let it go
zombieslasher (2 years ago)
My boyfriend and I have been on 2 breaks each time her asked for one to sort out his feeling and not even a week later he wanted to get back together. we've been together for 2 years since then and that break just reminded him of all the things he missed about me and us as a couple.
Janice Loh Mun Teng (2 years ago)
My boyfriend and I are on a break in the relationship but we are in a long distance relationship. Should I impose the no contact rule during the 'break'? Is there such scenario that a break in a long distance relationship will eventually end up as break up? He said that he is not sure what he wants in life. Appreciate if someone can gimme some advice.
Irwin Levine (2 years ago)
Not sure how much advising I can do, I'm in exactly the same boat. But I'll do my best I'm nineteen and my girlfriend of a year and a half just recently breaked me. We're doing long distance now as I'm studying abroad for the year. It's been 4.5 months of long distance and everything was perfectly fine. The no contact rule depends on the reason for the break. In my break, we are not communicating for two weeks minimum, because the reason for the break is so she can decide if she is sure she wants this relationship, to get her head together. So talking to her would cloud that. And I respect it. Of course there is such a scenario that this can end in a break up. Just like any break, the person who initiated the break may decide that they aren't ready for this. Or don't want this. Hopefully you are in a healthy relationship and he will be very nice about it if he does decide to end it. He said he's not sure what he wants in life, is that the reason for your break?
Come And Get It (2 years ago)
My ex and I did the taking a break thing. We should have just broken up then. We had been together for about 9 years at that point. At the time it crushed me and I tried to hold on to the relationship. I kept trying to talk to her to understand what she was looking for in the temporary separation, which just pushed her further away. Seeing other people go through the same thing since seems like the typical response of the partner who did not really want the break. I eventually was able to force myself to give her the space she wanted and we got back together. In hindsight it would have been better if we had just ended it there, my giving her space was really just me manipulating the circumstances to get her back. We ended up getting back together but I left her a couple years later. Not being able to forgive her for the break was a significant portion of the reason why.
Esther Wheeler (2 years ago)
can you talk about on again off again relationships? I am currently in one and don't know how to change the dynamic of it. we obviously care about each other very much and love each other, but is there any way to make it work? I think part of the breaking up is being reminded of all the pain we caused each other and not forgiving.
Angel Marchese (2 years ago)
My boyfriend and I decided to take a week long break after a little over a year of being together. With all the stresses of our everyday lives, the arguing over senseless things began to take a toll on the both of us and neither one of us wants to hate each other. No one ever tells you how bad breaks suck on both sides, when they're mutually agreed upon. It's full of a lot of apologizing, telling the other partner thank you for the amazing times and how much you still love them while crying nonstop because you don't want to give up on them. I thought it would get easier over the 6 day period, but it hasn't. I'm just not crying as frequently. I still love him wholeheartedly and I hope the end of the break leaves him feeling the same way and doesn't result in an actual break up.
Stephanie (3 months ago)
hey..I'm going through the same.. do you mind me asking what happened to you guys? did you stay together?
Marissawv 197837 (9 months ago)
Sadly my relationship is the same thing with my Doug. We have been seeing each other through long distance I'm in WV and he's in TX. Today he said until I figure this out and clear things up we need a break after I said we needed one. And I'm. Just having such a hard time in real life that it's so hard because he was there when I lost my mom in 2014. He told me in text I have tried to keep you all this time and seeing him say that to me make me feel so worse. And seeing you say that all the hate and being so hard not wanting to be with each other or trying to be with each other will hurt. I honestly believe Doug will think of things. Just idk now. I guess maybe time will tell in over night maybe 24 hours. When he texted I could tell something was bothering him and it hurt him 😢
Nadine A (1 year ago)
This is me right now I'm in tatters
Shiva (2 years ago)
+Naturally Lis it took him 24h to realize he made a mistake, i hope that this will happen for u too
Naturally Lis (2 years ago)
This is what I'm going through right now. My goodness
Maribel V-B (2 years ago)
I asked my boyfriend for a break, he said "no" now we're married
auroramanriquez (3 months ago)
Nini Fire (2 years ago)
Fucking awesome. Wish mine reacted that way.
RachelRantsTooMuch (2 years ago)
`please do a video on getting married young. I got married young and it just feels all doom and gloom from what people have told me.
Sebastian Sean Crow (3 years ago)
I feel like taking a break from a RELATIONSHIP of ANY kind is bullshit. If you're gonna do that, just break up. But you CAN be OKAY with taking a break from a PERSON or setting some spatial boundaries.
maikethepiper (3 years ago)
My partner and I are going to take a break and I'm literally terrified. It's not that I think he would cheat during that time, but that I'm scared I will ruin things myself. We've got a time limit and goals for the break and everything, which basically means that I've got a job for 3 months in another city, and during that time I'm gonna be figuring out what I want to do with my life, while he sits around doing his usual thing at home. Sigh. The issue is I have a lot of emotional dependence on him because he saved me from my previous abusive relationship, and I suspect that that's the reason I've been in this relationship as long as I have. So I'm scared that I'll recover my independence and not want to go back to the relationship, but that I'll do it anyway because I don't want to hurt him. It's a horrible situation to be in and I feel like a horrible person for feeling the way I do about it, but I don't know what else I can do.
Dukky Drake (3 years ago)
@TheTeaTabi He means he is tired of you at the moment and wants to have sex with someone else for a while. He'll let you know if he is still interested later & depending how the new girl works out, it always helps to have a backup.
Ashley Patricia (3 years ago)
I suffered through a "break". Thank god it was not a pre-break UP. It was her idea, she said I was taking her and what she contributes to our life for granted, and that some time without her there for me to depend on would make me be less selfish. There was no time limit set by her, but thankfully it only lasted under two weeks. I actually WAS being selfish, I was overlooking and taking without thanks!😨 I did need a reality check. That was over a year ago, and we are married now. It made our relationship stronger. At the time I didn't think what she was saying was correct, and I kept brushing off when she tried to explain. But when she wanted a break I realized how serious she must really have felt and that kind of hurt isn't made up; I was systematically ignoring her needs. That's not who I am! I just got lazy and caught up. Thankfully she saw me for who I am and still loved me through my bad behavior enough to give me an opportunity to snap out of it.
rat kid (3 years ago)
This reminds me of Friends with Rachel and Ross 😂😂
yoya18 (3 years ago)
My boyfriend and I met five years ago, started dating and screwed it all up. Then we got back together, tried our very best, and screwed it all up. We broke up and didn't speak for a year. Turns out in that year we both grew a lot, thought aabout each ther and lot and even didn't date other people. Then we got back together and our relationship has been more mature, less selfish, and generally awesome since. I guess if that counts as a break it worked beautifully and I would not change a thing if I could.
Harley Lawrence (3 years ago)
My ex of four and half years brought up the subject of taking a break. We did not set guide lines or any time limit, which was a horrible idea. We both had different ideas of what a break meant. And so a week or two in, I started to see a old high school friend of mine, one thing lead to another and so on. My ex was furious, he called me many names, threatened me, and wouldn't let me leave our apartment... He then threw me out along with all of my stuff, with no where to go, and no money. After that I really started to analyze our relationship and came to the realization that, I wasn't happy, and I was being verbally and mentally abused by him for years. Without that break in our relationship, I don't know where I would be right now... However, the high school friend that I had a romantic encounter with, is now my boyfriend. We've been together almost four years now, we have a house together and couldn't be happier. I am so thankful to him for all the love, support, and time he gave me in the beginning. He is and always will be my knight in shining armor. So, breaks can work for some people, and maybe not always in the way you expect.
Raspberry Italia (3 years ago)
After dating an introverted guy for about 11 months, I (also an introvert) asked for a break because I felt like we weren't able to communicate about our needs/wants in a way that made sure we were both respected and heard because we were both too worried about what the other would think. It was basically me trying to express how seriously I felt about the problem we were having and how it would be a deal breaker if we couldn't figure it out. I didn't set a timeline, and I wanted text-based communication, something easier than calls and something to keep a bit of distance. We continued to try to express care and what emotions we were dealing with, kept up with what was happening in our lives, eventually we hung out in groups, and eventually on our own. We both cared about each other, no one had done anything awful, it was just us relearning how to really communicate with and respect one another. We were on a break for about 9 months, and we'll have been back together for a year in October. We still have to be attentive to our own feelings and one another's feelings, but we're in a much better place than when we first started the relationship. The break definitely made the relationship stronger.
Skootle Bug (3 years ago)
I'm so happy for Kristen and Professor fiance! :D I was watching older "what mom never told you" episodes and he was featured in them- It's great to see these two are still together- it gives me hope and inspiration! :D
Moldovanca (3 years ago)
Breaks work if they are put into place for the right reasons. The reason I asked my boyfriend of 3 years to take a break was because I felt we were on different pages. I love and want a life with him but I don't want invest more time if he is not in it for the long hall. After a few months we both had time to think and figure what we want and where we see our relationship going. He said he never realized that life without me was even possible, that that is an option and that he assumed I would always just be there (aka took me for granted). So for us this break was really good. We moved in together this past weekend.
Moldovanca (3 years ago)
Breaks work if they are put into place for the right reasons. The reason I asked my boyfriend of 3 years to take a break was because I felt we were on different pages. I love and want a life with him but I don't want invest more time if he is not in it for the long hall. After a few months we both had time to think and figure what we want and where we see our relationship going. He said he never realized that life without me was even possible, that that is an option and that he assumed I would always just be there (aka took me for granted). So for us this break was really good. We moved in together this past weekend.
ClocksInMyPlace (3 years ago)
Taking a break is what you agree it is. This is why the Ross and Rachel thing could never be settled - they didn't communicate at all about it or agree to anything.
S. Stevens (3 years ago)
Wow! You look really gorgeous in this video. Hair up + glasses = a win. Also, couples that want to take a "break" definitely should just end it. You're either committed or you're not. Only circumstance where a break is acceptable is during a marriage where the couple would like some space apart before deciding 100% to stay together or break up. Only because people should give it at least that one last try before ending what's intended to be a lifelong commitment. And I'm not against divorce in any way, but just think that makes sense. A lot of people waste a lot of time trying to fix or salvage relationships that aren't worth it in the long run.
Declan - Mouth Bark (3 years ago)
how is this even a fucking channel, you just talk shit. nothing you say has any basis, its just nonsense
IrishRebel92 (3 years ago)
5:06 that train horn couldn't have been more perfectly timed.
MeggieSetGo (3 years ago)
I've never tried having a break to help a relationship, but I have experience with being told "we need to take a break" and having no idea what that entailed. It was my first relationship (I was 19) and I was heavily invested in the relationship. He came to me and said those famous words, but being young, naive, and inexperienced, I didn't know what that meant and I felt really hurt so I didn't ask. I was head over heals, so I fixated on him for six months until he started dating someone else. It was difficult and depressing because I didn't have closure until then. So yes, if you want to "take a break" in your relationship, it is imperative that you establish what that means, even if it ultimately means "I want to break up".
Melanie Hodge (3 years ago)
I had an ex-boyfriend when I was young and in love who wanted a break. I thought things were going fine, but he told me he needed time to sort himself out but didn't want to go into details. We took a break from seeing each other but still spent almost every day talking online or on the phone, it was a really hard time for me because whenever I tried to discuss time frames or getting back together he'd get really angry and try and change the subject. This went on for about 6 months until I finally told him we needed to stop talking so I could get over him and move on since he obviously had no intentions of getting back together and was just leading me on. The most hurtful part though was that the next day he had a new girlfriend and it broke my heart to know that he'd been talking to me every day and reassuring me he wanted to get back together while he'd also been seeing someone else. Overall so glad I got out of the relationship, looking back it was very toxic and unhealthy but I never regret anything because I know I learnt a lot from the experience and as much as the breakup was drawn out and painful it made it somewhat easier to get over him. Oh yeah and did I mention even while he was going out with this new girl he still thought we could "get back together". Life lessons learned!
Samella Reed (3 years ago)
First off, I love all of your videos! Secondly, my question is about relationships. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year now and make plans for the future: buying a house, marriage etc. Aka this is the real deal. My question is about MONEY. I make substantial more money than my boyfriend and I am fives years younger than him. He is a hard worker and supports himself, but looking at things now I am going to be the bread winner. He says he doesn't care but as time goes on I can see it effects his ego and makes him insecure. He feels he needs to traditionally "provide" for me, when that is not necessary. I don't really know how to continue to be my career oriented self and not emasculate him. I would love to hear more about the modern marriage and world where women are bringing home the bacon. Btw love your podcasts and if you have covered this before I am still catching up. #professorbeyonce
Celephais93 (3 years ago)
What is your stand on age gap relationships? Do you think they can be healty? What about age gaps when the ypunger partner is in their 30s or 40s?
:D you just made my day :D
Ross & Rachel were totally on a break.
Espoire Pierre (1 year ago)
Stuff Mom Never Told You - HowStuffWorks last question then no I'm not what you think you nothing like unto you waiting oh yes or no question you think you know or not something for you
Espoire Pierre (1 year ago)
Stuff Mom Never Told You - HowStuffWorks I not see enough people MLP please like much okay I miss you. People come or I'll come to you with you
Espoire Pierre (1 year ago)
Stuff Mom Never Told You - HowStuffWorks I'm come to you what you think you do not come to you waiting is nothing San Jose not important to you why you think no ask questions
derek ruffin (2 years ago)
+Stuff Mom Never Told You - HowStuffWorks ,mhj.kugjuujgubhjgujhngh
+Stuff Mom Never Told You - HowStuffWorks Regarding what professor fiancé said, you can't put a time limit on fixing one's issues. I have 0 experience with breaks.
Ingeborg Korme (3 years ago)
I very much agree with Professor Fiance that constant arguing -> yes, it is a break up, but someone has personal issues -> it is a break. I think you in a way ca set a time limit by agreeing that you will re-evaluate the situation at a certain time. Then you can evaluate the whole thing, see if the person needs more time and if you need to change anything. I also think that you can get "breaks" in romantic relationships when one person is in a situation where they don't have any energy for the other person. It might be work or that someone in their family has died, but because of it they don't have time or energy to be with the other person as much as they usually are. And to agree to see more of other people or not expect to spend much time together could be smart so the other person doesn't feel abandoned.
Ingeborg Korme (3 years ago)
Exactly :-) the world isn't a superawsome place all the time, we need to allow ourselves not to be perfect
+Ingeborg Korme Most of all, this reflects how it's important to allow relationships to ebb and flow. We might expect romantic relationships to always be a constant high, but that's not realistic.

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