How do long-distance relationships size up against geographically-close dating scenarios? Cristen shares the research and tips for making long distance relationships work.
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Right now I'm in a long distance relationship. Actually it's what we can say a special type of relationship. The more you wait to see each other even on a video chat too; the more you will feel excited to meet again. According to me LDR can be healthy if both gets commited and addicted even being so far away. I'm too happy with my girl and the relationship. We watch movies together, eat together, sleep together on a Video chat, some days we date each other by moving out the only thing is you ain't physically together. It's not like you have to Google how to maintain a ldr, if you truely need your relationship to last long and make it healthy, just consider that you're in a normal cdr and enjoy.😊
Might this would be helpful to someone.
I had only LDRs and for now him and i are 17 hrs away! I think it is important to have your own life unless you will be just depressed everytime that he is not arouNd you! and make sure that there is no misunderstanding even tho its tiny. Cuz talking on the phone is not same wih talking face to face. Plus TURST!!! The most important cuz unless you will keep doubting and that is not good for both of you!!!
I'm currently in a long distance relationship she lives in Mexico city i live in chicago we have gone trough a lot we have broken up and gotten back together like 3 different times never seen each other in person just by video chat but for some problems in the past i don't really trust her idk what to do honestly
Long distance relationship isn't that easy maybe some other people think it's unhealthy but I think it still depends on the relationship. I've already known a lot of couples who are in long distance relationship and they're doing fine.
Im in a LDR with my boyfriend, he lives in another continent and we have never seen each other yet but things are going out well between us and I hope it will stays like that until or after we meet,
We've only been dating for a few months so we hope it can turn out well and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
i am swiss, my BF is Australian and we met online. we are together since about 4 months feels much longer tho...
i flew over easter to meet him personally to australia.
our problems are:
1. distance and flight costs (we litterarly live on the other side of the planet)
2. time. he is from 8 to 10 hours ahead of me so we have about 6 hours to talk.. and that's normally when I am at the University
3. i just started to study so I'll be stuck here for at least 3 to 5 more years.
we talk a lot and skype when ever it's possible. we are already planning for our future but it's still really vague.
what i know for sure us that i trust him and he trusts me and that we are going to do anything possible to live together one day.
Hello, I'm new here would like to improve my English, can help with language? I
am MJ and looking to meet any someone from the USA or English native country... let skype interested should send me there id for skype.
My boyfriend and I have to spend summers and winter breaks apart. The first time we had to it was so incredibly hard but part of that was because the relationship was new and we were still in the "puppy love" phase. As the years go by it gets easier to say good-bye. However, while about 2 weeks apart is kind of nice, any longer than that and it causes friction and tension that would not even be there if we were together. Most of that is due to individual insecurity on both parts. When we finally do reunite we are more thankful for each other and realize how much we appreciate all the other person does for us when they are with us. So I feel some distance may be healthy but complete distance, unless that's how it has always been, may be more harmful than good.
I was in a long distance relationship for about 1.5 years, and I have to say the biggest thing that caused it to fail was what you mentioned about "the light at the end of the tunnel". I would try to establish a time at which we could meet and become a more "regular" part of each others lives and he had a lot of uncertainty and ambiguity and was very dodgy about trying to establish specific dates or conditions. Uncertainty is the ultimate killer of a LDR.
my boyfriend is like over 14 hours flight away, i really hope our relationship works, we are 14 and 15 and im worried that it wont work, i am extremely honest to him and we love each other so much, we are trying to have plans for the future and try stay together, we Skype and text all the time, and we care about each other so much, its hard being so far but i hope it will work out
Im somewhat in an LDR. My gf is like 1 and a half hour transit ride form me and we don't see each other often (maybe once a week). The hardest part for me is that I'm afraid she'll meet someone new when I'm not there. But I think I should just trust her
Thinking that way made me screw up my previous relationship but it wasn't the only reason it crumbled ! You don't wanna think that way... You gotta trust her no matter what ! Don't think that she might leave you for someone else unless it really happens... Because it is not likely to happen if she really loves you !
I'm in a long distance relationship. Her and I have specific plan and we have problems BUT we are very serious about each other. I've never met such an awesome girl before. I'm her HERO. So I are doing just fine. What matters is that we love each other and that's it.
My girlfriend, who's a couple of years older than me, is heading to university next month. We've decided to try long distance, despite many people saying it's not a good idea. Any tips for making it work??
First of all, be patient. The distance can bring a lot of discussion about stuff, so think twice before getting into one, is it really worth it? The good thing about LDR is that you both will have more time to spent with friends and have fun with other people so enjoy it! When you see each other in person you'll see it was totally worth it the time apart.
Communicate. Promise each other that you'll talk about everything. Put on effort and be understanding (both of you!) And set a date to when you'll meet.
Also while you're not together try to spend time in the phone or skyping (like me and my boyfriend call "dates" lol). And know that there will be hard times but always remember Why you chose each other and made that decision to begin with.
One last thing : check out this site : loving from a distance. it helped me a lot making my decision and gathering enough courage for this adventure.
I wish you both lots of love! Good luck!!
okay... so anyone here to help... my girlfriend cheated on me, we've been LDR for 8 months, turns out a month of that cheating :/ but when we spoke the other day she was in loads of tears I could tell she was hurt.. I was😔 she blocked me from everything and I had a message from some lad :/ but I go hold of her through instagram😏 and I wanted her badly so so badky😔 and I thought for her and I got her back! is that a good thing or a bad thing? people are telling me I'm making a mistake but this girl means the world to me! I'm just sick of people not having faith 😔 I want to belive her this time she said she couldn't put herself through the same pain again
I'm in a long distance relationship and my parents say that it isn't real and that I couldn't be with him. But it is only a 5 hours distance besides when he is at work for the summer which is an hour and 30 minutes. But I think it's real and I really do like him. I'm meeting him this Saturday maybe depends on if his job will let him but it hasn't been that long and idk what is going to happen. I don't even know if he actually trust me Bc it's only been about 2 weeks of us dating
Im currently in a long distance relationship, and i think the number 1 thing to having a successful long distance relationship is trust. Without trust in the relationship, it could quickly ruin your relationship. You need to be able to trust your partner to be loyal, and trust that they would never cheat on you.
Currently i have engaged my self into a LDR， i ve met her back in December 2015， stayed friends until may 2016 and 20 th june she had to leave for a 1 year internship from Malta to cyprus. We both love eachother and this will hopefully work， one thing we found that made daysv pass (already a month) was long paragraphs at the end of each day， showing what we did through all the day， our fears， everything is shared through this important message i read every night and she reads every morning from me. Hopefully we will see each other lots of times throught this year， believe me that the relationship will grow stronger and healthier and your love to her is someting unexplainable.
you have to say good morning goodnight and I love you everyday that's what helped my relationship keep going and the guy was like we should have a nickname for you my boyfriend I call him baby and he calls me sunshine there you go my story
I just let my 5 year old long distance relationship.. it was healthy at first because you know, we were living the dream! I love him with all my life but I came to the conclusion that we were not going into the same direction, putting pressure on eachother for jobs and stuff. We were just not going to make it. I just felt ready to turn the page and have an other chapter started..
I am in a LDR with a younger man of all things. I am 43 he is 24. We met on fb . We both love each other and are making it work. We will get married and I will more than likely move across the country to be with him. it takes lots of trust something I struggle with but he keeps reassuring me it is alright and he will not leave me.
Okay, so i am in long distance relationship right now. It all started online, so it might be different for couples that had already met and they went long distance. For me there are so many pros! Cmon, I can live my own life, I can improve myself and work with myself, and all i can do is share all those stuff with my other half ( who is 4369 miles away from me ). And for me, it works great, cause all my "normal" relationship has ended cause of too much attachment that those guys were giving me. I felt like in cage. My partner thinks same way. We are living our lifes on our own but together. And there is soooo many ways to say i love you without words in such relationship you have no idea!
Good look to everyone who is in long distance relationship. I know the pain, I'm also waiting for THE DAY, that will come soon.
Cristen, could you possibly do a video on online relationships? I'm in a relationship with someone I've met online and known for a while. We love each other and the relationship is good but people keep telling us it's not real cuz we've never met face to face. We will meet at some point hopefully soon, but until then it's just video chatting and messaging. Help please?
No one argues that the feelings are real, but what those people (who said it's not real) possibly meant was that when you communicate only online with someone there is a high risk that you create this idealised image of them in your head, which would be readjusted to reality if you two would meet in real life often (as in with regular relationships). So when you do meet after a time of having this idealised image, the reality shock may even damage your relationship. That all, assuming that you haven't been lying to each other about major or minor details about yourselves (because this happens sometimes).
LDR is real. I love my bf. We both know we love each other. We too have never met but it is a relationship and we love each other. You must keep doing what you are doing and if you two are happy it right or you. The feelings in a LDR are as real as if you were dating in the same town.
I am in a long distance relationship due to university, we have been together 4 years, long distance for 9 months now and are a 7 hour drive away from eachother. I agree with your light at the end of the tunnel theory - we know he will eventually move here in 2018 (so two years from now) and we will finally be living together. It was hard at first, but communication and commitment (as well as frequent visits) made it so much easier. If its meant to work then distance wont stop it, it will just mean you have to work harder!
I met my boyfriend when I was studying abroad in England, we started seeing each other for 2 out of the 4 months I stayed there, and then decided to commit to long distance. I'm originally from Wisconsin.... I only felt comfortable agreeing to long distance because I'm graduating university in December and have the freedom to pick up and leave to be with him after I'm done. We made a deal when I left that we would skype everyday, even if it's for 10 mins. We will have been together 5 months in May, and haven't missed a day! This really helps especially when you both have had a busy or especially tough day.
I was able to visit him over spring break, so I think if you can save your pennies and visit them whenever you can it eases the hardship a little. Saying goodbye is never easy but knowing that the person you are with is working as hard as you are, totally makes it worth it.
He will be coming over in August to stay for 2 months before we have to go our separate ways for school again. Then we start the count down to my graduation and my next flight over. It should be quite the adventure when we do live together seeing as most of our relationship will have already been long distance. However I feel confident that our long distance has helped our communication skills since long distance nearly all verbal communication and learning how to use your words to express your feelings (good or bad) to resolve disagreements and comfort one another from afar. We also know how much we are willing to fight and work hard for one another, so that also helps :)
Hey, I'm currently in the process of converting to a long distance relationship. After being together for two years my girlfriends family made a decision to move to Miami (I live in the Caribbean). Anxiety kicks in as the months close in. I just need the reassurance that we'd last because if its already difficult now, god alone knows how difficult it will be when she moves.
I know I'm watching this video like 2 years after it was posted, but I'm in a ldr now and honestly it's one of the healthiest relationships I've ever been in. We're both in school so we have that space to go and be ourselves and be individual but at the same time I trust him and we're about to rely on each other emotionally as well. Plus! We plan on not being long distance once he graduates so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But yeah, I think it was the one of the smarter move I've made in my life!
I've a childhood friend and in nine years - it feels like there's something more than that. I am a bit clingy and rather a bit anxious and it's hard to remind myself that "hey, if he was bored of me, he would've cut me out already." I moved states two years ago and we email frequently. Though, with high school coming to an end there's a lot going on for both of us. Now, I'm not too certain about my feelings for this guy, but I do know that even before questioning anything, I'd just taken for granted that he'd be in my life for a very long time. I'm not even certain whether he feels the same way - but now, since there's been distance - I've been a lot more loyal to him. As in, I don't intend on dating other guys or anything cuz it just feels like cheating. But, nothing's ever been directly said between us about this and even if he has said something, I can't be too certain as I may be reading too much into it. He's honest and we talk about EVERYTHING but this. It's just not part of the relationship, yet. Like, breaking the rules too suddenly. And with all that's going on, I don't want to bring this up (over email) and maybe break an awesome, nine year friendship (which is pretty big for me as I barely have many friends, let alone having one for nine years.) I don't know what to do - should I even wait around, or is it time to end something that didn't even start? And technically, other than my parents - he's the only HUMAN BEING who gets me and knows me. It's not based on music interests or movies or food or lunch or anything like that. But, it's getting to me, now. What should I do? Is this in anyway abusive and am making it abusive for myself, instead? How do I stop the worrying and let things just happen?
I'm in a long distance relationship, I'm from Denmark and he is from Brazil. We lived togethers for 6 months, but had to move back to our separate homes afterwards, because we both have to study. Since we are both in University we can only afford to see each other every 6 months, and it seems like it won't be possibility to live together again within the next 4 years. It is definetely tough and its going to be some even more tough years to come. But I agree that only with good communication and trust will it possible.
+GreetingsFromGnirrak I am from Brazil and my boyfriend is from Australia. Same thing happened, really. I will be graduating from University at the end of next year and then move to Australia but until then we can only see each other every 6 months. Its been tough, but worth it
I am in a long distance relationship and I can say I really love and trust my boyfriend and I try my best to keep it working also him he is very helpful and he makes me feel closer more than anyone around me just with his actions and behavior , it a beautiful experience to live and I hope it will be a secsesful and have a happy ending <3
I'm in an LDR now its been 2 years. we only live and hour apart so It doesnt feel completely like Im not with him all the time. Im 23 working towards finishing college, and he's 26 starting his Career. I have one more year of school....And all i want to do is live with him when I get out! we have very different personalities. Im extroverted he is Introverted. I bring out his creative side, and he brings out my reflective side. We all together have known eachother for 5 years. This year is getting really tough. I hope we can make it through to 2017. Cause I really do love him with my whole heart and contiously work on learning how to communicate and understand him! I've noticed when I leave lil notes behind he like those. I also realized he doesnt like it when I try to hard? we dont talk on the phone we mostly text. but usually we only interact in person. The biggest thing ive realized is communication is important and even tho its LDR people still need their alone time and space.
My LDR let me meet the most interesting, clever, and good people that's ever been in my life, far better and more satisfying than the everyday ralationships I've been in. It takes 3-4h by train to get from my city to his, but it's so worth the time we spend together!
It's been a year and three months since we met. It was supposed to be friendship at the beginning, but we shared so many things, and there are topics I care about that I know nobody else but him would understand.
I realized I started looking at my life with positivity, I'm much more serene and, most important, I feel stronger. He believes in me more than I do.
I don't need to be jealous, I don't feel like I should, and it's the same for him. We have our little arguments, but just as everyone else does. We know we can tell eachother anything, without hiding stuff and holding a grudge. _It's easy being with you, sacred simplicity_ ;)
Yes, it was much harder at the beginning, when things were not so clear. And also, we hung out just a few days every month. The three weeks in between were not easy. But now, two weeks are totally bearable. I read the comments and I guess I should consider myself lucky, since my wait only lasts for two-three weeks. Well guys, now that I experienced it myself, I totally believe in LDR, though before I didn't.
ps. It's adorable to read all the stories here in the comments :)
I used to have some long-distance internet relationships when I was younger and it was a good pastime, sort of speak. The really tough one, though, was the one I kept after I moved to the other side of the planet to study. We dated for 4 years, got married, and 2 weeks after the party we had to say goodbye. Then we had one year of turbulent long-distance freakship that drove us both into depression, and then eventually he left everything behind and moved in with me here in Japan. It's been 2 years since he came and everything is doing well, so I guess we survived the long-distance thing ok. As you said, it works as long as the couple has a purpose and, preferably, a deadline.
I'm in one; I live in Seattle, she lives in Vancouver, BC. We've been together for about a year, and normally saw each other on weekends. We would trade between visiting each other's houses, but she is in the film industry as a special effects artist, she is gone for extended periods of time and works varied hours.
We used to Skype, talk on the phone for long periods of time, and instant message frequently. All of that decreased to no Skype, and 5 minute phone calls with occasional text messages. Now we are taking a break, and supposed to be until end of this month. I just watched your video and realized it wont work. We don't have a goal set for the relationship, and the problems that caused our break will still be there after the break. Complicated problems. She hasn't done anything, its what she hasn't done. And now I no longer trust her.Sucks.
i'm currently in a long distance relationship (it's not as long distance as i know many LDR's are, but we still only see each other at the weekend). We live 111 miles apart - she lives in Cardiff, UK and I live in Birmingham, UK. I have been driving to see her every friday and staying all weekend at her parents house for the past year and 4 months and I can honestly say we have never faltered because of the distance. Of course we have spats and silly arguments etc that all couples have, but it is nothing to do with the distance between us. We actually met online in july 2013 and met face to face in september 2013. communication is definitely key and also knowing what lies ahead is what makes the distance a lot more bearable (we facetime every single day!) at the start of the relationship we never knew how long it would be before we saw each other again and that made it extremely hard to be positive about the future, but now we are in a weekly routine and i KNOW that every sunday night when i leave that i'll be seeing her again friday evening. she is moving to my home city at the end of this year to come to university here. the long distance will be no more :-)
I've recently started my first LDR, and trust me, it isn't easy. For the both of us, we've suffered some sort of depression in our lives. For me, that makes it difficult for me to trust people and let them into my life. But when I met Brandon through a shared online friend, we clicked. It's been two weeks already, and he makes me so much happier. Out of some others that have failed, this is by far the malt healthy and happy relationship I've ever had. He makes me a better person, and vice versa. We take it seriously, and have trust and hope. Would you be surprised if I said I'm 13 and he's 14? Although we're young, and separated by nearly 1,000 miles, we aren't stupid. A relationship is a relationship.
You deserve a thumbs up.. This is exactly what I'm going through. Me and my girlfriend really take our relationships seriously, and well... It's going good and had. We really wanted to see each other too, and we will be. Soon. I hope.. Anywho, Me and her are both 13, and welp, I am addicted. XD. She always gets my hopes up, and she always flirts with me in such a way that no other girl can. In real life, it's so much different. People like at you and judge you before they even know who you are.. It's annoying, but me and her are really close. We relate in every friggin' way. Sigh, if only I could see her once..
Long distance relationships are not for everyone. I've had friends who have tried and failed because it just wasn't for them. I'm currently in one, and man is it tough. But my boyfriend and I made the decision to go through this journey together and stick it out because life with him, even miles apart, is just better than life without him. You said that one of the positives was that there is less friction between couples, but actually we fight more apart than we do when we're together, which sucks. It's all about commitment though. There IS a lot of trust that has to be involved. So if you have issues with that you'll probably have a difficult time. My boyfriend struggles with it, but he's getting better. I don't see how long-distance relationships can be any more unhealthy than a relationship in closer proximity. It's still a relationship. Just a different kind. What keeps me going is knowing that I'll see him soon. I always have the next date that I get to come see him in mind, because it gives me something to look forward to. Don't focus so much on the times you're apart so much as the times you get to be together.
I've been in a few long distance relationships before and those have never worked out and I'm currently starting a new one..so it's nothing new to me. But I've always wondered if that was healthy as a person.. (To be in many failed relationships.. One after another.. Not LITTERALLY though.. Just to give you the idea..) Being a women I know we expect more from the relationship as you said and we want more in the long run. But being someone who has had many heartbreaks and "unhealthy" long distance relationships and only experienced those, what would you recommend I do to change the pattern of all of this so that it doesn't happen again? Advice is appreciated.. :)
I was in a long distance relationship and it was the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life, I suffered terrible anxiety from the separations, I made huge efforts to be with that person and it turned out I had nothing but fake expectations of him, he was really meant to me when i was in his country and I couldn´t handle the disappointment and ended up taking antidepressants. I´m ok now, but it took me over 2 years to get over it.
My great-grandfather asked for my great-grandmother's hand in marriage, and her parents said hell no, she was too young (17), and if he would be willing to have a long distance relationship for three years minimum, they would give their blessing, so he moved from England to Philadelphia and wrote letters to her back and forth for the three years. It was through their letters that they fell even more deeply in love. They married when he returned from America, and were happy together for the rest of their lives.
I've been in a long distance relation ship for 2 years,we live 10 hours away and we have been mainly working on our individual lives. finishing school, getting jobs and moving out of parents' house, etc. Recently we would update each other about recent events and what we've been doing every weekend. we meet up at anime conventions maybe 2-3 times a year. I'm going to visit him for a month over Christmas and it's going to be awesome! this is his and my first relationship, we're determined to make it work and so far it's been pretty good =)
I'm in a LDR and my boyfriend is in Germany but in less than 2 years I will be moving in with him in Germany and yes. Communication is the main key also Trust! Sending packages and visiting each other in the mean time is what's also helping us cope with the distance but over all it's a wonderful experience.
I have been in a long distance relationship with this guy from Alberta and I live in Quebec, and so i'm scared i'll be craving some humane loving? like by that i dont mean sex but i mean all those little things you have with a close boyfriend-girlfriend that you don't have with a long distance relationship... i know for a fact though that me and him won't be together forever, but i still love him, but like yeah... we've had a rough start because of his parents dissaproving our relationship and as much as i want to push it to the farthest of my mind i cannot, simply because being with him reminds me of all those darker times... im only 15 and pretty much lost.. any help- advice?
I'm currently in one and i'm only 16 years old! Me and this lucky woman have been doing this for 2 years now and I think that if we can do it you guys can too... She lives in Arizona while I live in Florida. We believe that trust is a big thing and if you have it you can do it. That's our motto so just go with it and try, I'm only 16 and I'm doing just fine.
I am in a long distance relationship ad have been for months. We talk every day or every other day. We live in different states and have been able to meet once a month for a day in a city near both of us, its something to look forward to
i was in a long-distance relationship and we dated for almost a year and it worked out pretty well, my downfall was age and distance combined but i say to anyone wanting to know wether or not to go for this situation to go for it but make sure theres trust and honesty and communication :)
My boyfriend and I don't get to see each other a lot except for college, but we Skype and are always texting. I see my other friends and wonder how cool it is for them to always see their boyfriends all the time but at the end of the day I always feel lucky that at least he is not so far away I can't see him at all. I admit it is hard but I always try my best to make it work. :)
I just moved in with my boyfriend whom I lived apart from for over a year, and we knew that it would take that long for us to be together on a day to day basis. Communication was the key, and we had two rules; To talk every day, and say goodnight every evening. The rules was broken maybe 3 times over the year, but it wasn't a crisis, because we knew that the other person had something important that day or something. We used various forms of communication, like Skype, Snapchat, texting and most frequently just calling. A few times we sent "care-packages" in which we put things we wanted the other to have, like some candy, a season of a good show, a t-shirt with his/my scent on it, and other little items we wanted to share.
Long story short; We are happier now than ever.
As a member of active duty US military and being married to another active duty member. of the 6 years we have been together we have spent more than 3 of those years apart. the military makes the decision for us to be apart, but knowing that the separation is only temporary makes it bearable. i am currently deployed and i think about the great advantages that i have as opposed to the hardships my parents had to endure when my father was on active duty and deployed; skype, facebook, email, phone, and snail mail. my parents were lucky to get letters. Separation is difficult but definitely doable. Good luck to those who are enduring!
I go to boarding school and I'm used to being incredibly close to my boyfriend nearly all of the time, but during the summer we're 9,531 kilometers away from each other. It's really hard, but thanks to the internet we talk every day. Honestly my schedules just a leeetle messed, ahaha, but it's worth it. Really, the part that's hardest is just not being able to see their body language.
I was in a long distance relationship during my year abroad. It ended after 8 months. To be honest, it ended long before that because I just wasn't invested in it. I stayed with him because I felt guilty. In the end, I broke up with him because I found myself thinking about when I could finally move back home and break up with him in person. It's not fair to keep him hanging on.
My boyfriend and I been together for 3 and a half years and for 3 months during the summer of the first year he had to go back to Yemen to stay with his family. It was so hard to be away from him considering we saw each other almost every day. We stayed in touch via iphone apps and facetime and we talked all the time. The second summer that he went away was much harder. His family was forcing him to get married. He had to keep saying no to every girl they offered him. He was also working for his family's company day and night being a workaholic so I hardly got to speak to him. He was so stressed trying to figure out what to do so he was distant from me. I thought he would surely leave me. But I trusted him and his word. He has still not married and continues to fight for our love. I must say that trust is the biggest factor. If I did not trust him I would have annoyed him and if I annoyed him too much I would have pushed him away and maybe he would be married and happily in his other culture. Biggest thing for long distance relationships: trust and daily communication. And yes, the light, When you don't see the light is when you start straying from the commitment..
I've been a long distance relationship for about 8 months now.
I live in Pennsylvania and my boyfriend lives in British Colombia, Canada (near the border to Washington state.)
We met in an online RPG called 'Runescape' & haven't met in person yet, but plan to by Christmas time.
Long distance relationships can work. People who are saying they require A LOT of TRUST are correct. It's the number one thing you should be doing.
The relationship will work as long as it's what you really want it to. If something goes wrong with it, obviously one of you didn't want the relationship to move forward that bad.
The second thing you need a lot of is definitely patience, all couples argue here and there whether it's long distance or near by. Just have patience with them, they're trying as hard as you are to make things work.
I've been in a long distance relationship for nearly a year now. We do have a light at the end of the tunnel :) I am going to university next year and he is saving up for a house. We're going to move in together, after I am finished school. He's told me he wants to make me his wife! The best part is, we were highschool sweethearts, and have been good friends for a decade now.
Thanks you for your video, I need some long relationship advice, I have been dating this wonderful man of god for about 6 mts. We never meet in person. We had great spiritual connection. He had my pastor name at my church lol. We have been talking on and off for a about 6mts, we was in love with each other, he ask me to marry him and i said yes. But the communication stop more recently more than ever for about 2-3 weeks. We made plans to see each other in JUNE. But hes not calling me that often. we meet on Facebook, he always online, but not talking to me anymore. I feel lil reject because we are suppose to meet up in June. At this point i don t know what to do, I want to break off the engagement because i am hurt, but part of me what see what going to happen in June. Iam so inl ove him, I dont know if he still feels the same way. please get back to me thanks Trina from alluretrends
The closest thing to an LDR I've experienced was when my then-boyfriend and I were separated for 3 weeks over Christmas, and it ended our relationship.
He made the 3 weeks impossibly frustrating by throwing himself a constant pity party, not wanting to talk about anything besides how terrible the distance was, rather than trying to make the best of a temporary sub-par situation, as I was doing.
I broke up with him soon after we reunited because I realized his pessimistic attitude, self-pity, and unwillingness to try to change/improve troubling situations weren't qualities I could tolerate in a partner.
It really depends on the person you are, and the person you're dating. Too much interaction can be exhausting and a downfall, but too much distance can be hard to deal with even if you and your partner make the mental decision to stick with it. I think try to learn what kind of person you are and then as Cristen said, communicate with your partner, or someone you're interested in to make sure they want a similar type of relationship. My ex wanted to hang out with me everyday or every other day, and as I'm very introverted and not into interaction. It became too exhausting for me. I wasn't enjoying the relationship, and it wasn't fair to him to either, we both just wanted different things. So really my advice would be kind of learn about yourself, and figure out what kind of relationship you want, then search for someone with a similar want, and communicate. :)
I was in a long distance relationship with the most amazing person I've ever met by far, when we first met it was around holidays, so we spoke often. But work and school came into play we barley spoke a text to each other, and it made us break apart to the point where he pushed me away. Though I never met him, I still and always will love him.
I met my current boyfriend online. I checked all the characteristics I wanted, expanded my search to all of the state I live in, and there he was. But he lived two hours away. We were in college at the time. He visited me every weekend because I didn't have a car. He would spend the night at my place. It was basically like living together Fri night- Sunday. But Mon-Thurs we didn't see each other at all. It was kind of like hell. We agreed to move to where ever someone got a job first. He got a job and so I moved towards him. The down side is my current job life kind of sucks. I don't have as many opportunities as I'd like. But the upside is that my emotional/romantic life is amazing. I couldn't be happier now that we are living together for real.
I am in one and have been for the past 2 years... Its been rough but we've never been better. He lives in new york, I live in south america.... we're both getting our majors and see no end to the distance in sight, but we hope... and love
I'm in a long distance relationship (I'm in Canada, he's in the UK), and we've been in a relationship for over 3 1/2 years and counting (and spent significant amounts of time together in person too, but majority has been at a distance but that will change one day). I think they are like any other relationship except for the fact that there is physical distance between you for a certain amount of time. And so saying that, there are probably just as many long distance relationships that don't work as closed distance relationships that don't work, the point being that when you found the right person, you will put up with the distance. Though I agree it does help even when you have a general plan of when you will be together, and being able to work towards the goals that will get you there (like saving money).
My boyfriend lives in Ohio and I live in England. It's difficult, but we speak every single day and I trust him fully. He's staying here this summer and then he's moving here in less than a year. I'm really excited. c:
I was in one. I live in Australia and the guy moved back to Colombia. I agree with what you said about the ones that were successful had a light at the end of the tunnel, and the long distance thing was only for a specified amount of time. The minute we realised we'll not have enough money to see each other in the next 2 years and it was indefinite whether or not we'd meet again, we had to call it off. That's the one downside of living in Australia I guess.... it costs thousands of dollars to go to another country.
Good luck to all those who are trying to make it work long distance.
I was in a few that didn't work out, but lasted for a while. I have a very interstate family, I guess. We live all over the country, and I travel a lot because I'm close to a lot of them, and I do electrical work in plants, so I travel for my job too. I don't stay in one place long enough to have a normal relationship, and I don't trust anyone I've recently met to be on the road with me. So I'm pretty much stuck with long distance.
There isn't any single thing that made my relationships so far fail that wouldn't happen to the average one. Things just didn't work out. I'd be impressed with the man that married his first girlfriend. Not in a good way depending on who it was, but impressed none the less.
Currently in a long distance relationship, been together a little over a year or so. It is difficult, there ARE things we have to work through that we probably wouldn't have had to if we were living closer to each other, but I think we've bonded, a lot. It's funny that you say "Radical honesty" because that is exactly what he and I have, and say, when we're about to divulge something that may be less than pleasant. We've been back and forth to see each other (I'm in KY, he's in NY), and even though it hurts having to go back to where we are each living, I know that eventually we'll be living together. Just takes time, and money...They CAN work, but you REALLY have to work at making sure that communication and honesty is first, which builds trust, also finding times to bond with each other, whether it's a skype date, or video games together, whatever it is, that is so important.