Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's Patriarchy.
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Join Cristen to get down to the business of being a woman and all the Stuff Mom Never Told You about bodies, boys and the female brain.
First of all make up is ART for your face just like clothes. Your body is a canvas for self expression; decorate and celebrate it! Do you think artist paint on canvas because they hate them?? NO, they fully appreciate them. Who says " oh your house is more beautiful without paintings, furniture, a nice colored rug, plants, and other decorative things.". That sounds like a fuckin insane asylum.
Advice all father's should give to their sons... Before you invest too much time beyond the first date, see the female without her makeup. If you don't find her naturally attractive, move on. Also, if her makeup is a true regiment, bail. Over your life time she'll waste copious amounts of your money and time.
Advice all father's should give to their daughters... Dutch the makeup and societies standards. Present your natural beauty unadulterated. This allows you and others to love you for who you are, not a version of yourself.
When I was a teen-ager, I preferred my girlfriend to not wear makeup. But that was because I was going to lick her face, one way or the other, and I like the taste of skin better than cornsilk.
Now, I still have a preference, but I know that my preference doesn't matter.
Women are more beautiful as a natural 🎁gift from heaven without 💄makeup, it's social media conditions that force girls to feel totally insecure without a little bit of goop on thier precious little faces! Cavewomen didn't know what makeup ever was and still gave birth to the 🌎world today from cavemen fathers that Loved them as they were, which is the Super Natural cavewomen goddesses way back then! So makeup is Not your birthright and never will be!
I need help. If I'm in a relationship with a girl who goes out often with their single friends. Dresses up and wears make up for sex appeal. Am I wrong in telling her not to draw attention because she's in a relationship?
I need help
Before my wife and I got married, told her I like seeing her rather than her makeup. She had relayed to me her mother told her she'd be so much prettier with makeup when she was younger. A year later when we were getting married she plastered makeup on --for the pictures she said. I was wondering what I was marrying some plastic Barbie doll ugh! Fortunately after the ceremony and reception it came off. 20+ years later she still has makeup --a lot of it, but only wears it on special occasions or when she meets people for business. I still think she looks better without, but its her choice.Likewise I had always had a beard when we were dating, but a week or so before the wedding she asked if I would shave it off as she wanted to see what I looked like before we got married. Next night I showed up sans beard and typically keep it off as she likes it better off. Neither situation was meant to be dictating what the other should do, just stating a preference. A we both are comfortable with pleasing the other's desires.
The rating part was not tactful, but it sounds like this person took pains to express his opinion (he is allowed to have those right? even if they're about you?) in a positive way.
I think it's overkill to act like someone saying "I like/dislike this" is them "trying to control your body".
I like sweatpants. I wear them FOR ME, for my own comfort and enjoyment. And yet I still accept that some people will judge me for it, or think it's a bad thing. And when they tell me "hey, maybe khakis?" I reply "maybe. but I like sweats." NOT "OMG! Youre sexist/racist and you're oppressing me by objectifying my body because you think you're entitle to control me! AHHHHHHH!!!!"
in short: chill.
This will sadly forever be an issue however, as long as sex is on the table. We can say we're wearing it for ourselves, but this all started somewhere, where we learned our bare face was unacceptable and needed fixing or adornment, be it from a parent, peers or potential mate. The slope is a slippery one.
Dear men of the world, we do not need to hear whether you like us better with or without makeup, with long hair or short hair, in skirts or jeans, in heels or flats, blonde or brunette, long nails or short, big bust or small, thick or thin......
We look the way we do because that's what we prefer. It's how we like to look. We do not wake up every morning thinking "I better mould myself into the image of whatever the majority of men prefer". Because pleasing men is not our priority in life.
Please, mind your own business.
haha I love this, because his opinion is not judgmental or misogynistic at all!! rating women on a numeral scale, that's exactly the reason we put makeup on, it has nothing to do with us just wanting to because we like it. also, whether we're single or not, we should always strive to attract everyone else on the planet too. I feel empowered, this guy gave me a fresh perspective on my life today 😂😂😂😂
My GF hardly ever wears make-up and I love her the way she is. I prefer her without make-up and I also think that a natural look is beautiful while the cosmetics look is kinda, well, it's a thing women do but I don't have to like it.
Kirill Illenseer that's right, nobody has to like it, even our significant other, makeup is and should be something personal, like men shave/groom/grow beards, it's your face to do with what you like and your partner will love and accept you for who you are, regardless, it's the same with makeup.
The way I see it, you're born with your face, but you're not born with makeup, that's a conscious decision you've made. Telling someone they look better without makeup is like telling them they'd be better off changing their wardrobe or quitting their job or divorcing their spouse. If you want to compliment a woman, compliment them for the decisions they've made. Otherwise, you're treating them like an object.
+Srijan Srivastava Sure, if you want to. But if a man goes up to a woman and says "you'd look so much better without pants" that's not a compliment. That's just creepy, and potentially an insult to their choice of legwear.
"I can see your personality more" ...ok but how does that one work? How can one see abn entire personality based on seing someones face? That's either highly skilled witchcraft and mind-reading or...bullshit xD
So if men like women to wear makeup, it's patriarchy.
When men _don't_ like women to wear makeup, it's male oppression.
And when men don't care if women wear makeup or not, we're not being attentive enough.
Men can't win....and yay, confirming yet another stereotype.
+dmaster225 I have female friends who love wearing makeup for its own sake, but just as many who dread applying it every day, and admit that they only do because of social pressure (school, peers, work, etc).
I wear makeup because I like it I, I enjoy putting it on and trying new styles and in makes me feel confident it covers up my acne which is a source of insecurity and I don't put it on for the benefit of men
"I prefer less makeup" good then don't wear any. You do what makes you happy and I'll do my thing. I understand what you are saying in that it's an opinion you have but to expect me to conform to it to please you is just idiotic and egotistical.
Men who don't wear makeup really shouldn't offer advice on what looks good on women. A lot of guys assume I'm not wearing makeup when I am (because all men can see is lipstick and eyeliner, not the dozen products I use to make my skin look even and healthy) so the "look better without it" remark always strikes me as untrue. They want you to wear makeup, they even expect it, they just don't want you to make it obvious. I wouldn't spend years refining a makeup routine if I was looking for male approval, they have no frame of reference to appreciate it.
Let me guide you; I see this as an attempt to blame men for everything.
You look good with makeup! "Boo, men, boooo!!". You look good without it? "Boo! You saying I _need_ to please you!? Boo!"
_Get the fuck outta here with that_. You know he was a dumb kid or something.
Honestly I hate makeup, but I still wear it. I don't wear it for guys though I just wear it because I'm not comfortable going bare faced in public. I feel like I'm treated better with it and people don't look at me like I'm some disgusting creature like they do when I don't wear it. I don't think there is anything wrong with wearing it to cover insecurities.
Always thought that girls are (generally) prittier without makeup! But don't take that as a universal excuse, even makeup is necessary sometimes XD
If my girlfriend would say something like "stop caring about the beard, the hair and quit going to the jim, you're beautiful anyway" i'd be really surprised
As a makeup artist I can assure you most women don't wear makeup for men. Most women actually wear it for other women. We feel the need to compare ourselves to other women and to be as "put together" as the women we surround ourselves with. But the truth is makeup is art. It is a way for anyone, man or woman, to express themself. I tend to wear more makeup than the average high school girl, but that's because it helps me relieve stress and express myself in a healthy way that makes me happy. I don't wear makeup for any man or woman other than myself. So please men, don't tell women they don't need to wear makeup, because most of the time you don't cross ladies minds when they are applying. Instead women (and it wouldn't hurt if men helped to) let wonen know that they can wear as much or as little makeup as they want to as long as they are doing it for themselves and it makes them happy.
Normally, I'm not a huge fan of bright lipsticks such as red, but you rock the look! I love the way it accents the shape and personality of your lips when you speak. Which for me is a big thing. Though I'm not deaf, I do a lot of lip-reading as it does help me understand what is being said vs when I am unable to lipread and end up asking the person to repeat themselves a few times. Your makeup has become a part of you, to me, and on that video from way back whenever, it was a change from your normal look I hadn't expected. Yes, you are just as good looking without your makeup, and if you wanted to stop wearing makeup that is completely your choice. Your lipstick is simply a cute little thing about you that I've grown fond of.
People who are anti-makeup or anti-no-makeup need to just chill out a bit. it's not their choice to make unless it is in regards to their own face.
A MEMO FOR EVERYONE WHO DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE: girls do not appreciate being pressured into not wearing make up just as much as we don't appreciate being pressured into wearing it. Just don't. It's a personal decision. No discussion needed, as far as I'm concerned.
+Stiainin Beglan Personally, I think all humans need to feel attractive in order to function properly. We're social creatures and as such need to know we're likable(-fuckable-).
With that said, how someone goes about it is up to them. It's personal if any or a lot of makeup is needed.
I'm a man, and I've worn makeup before. lol I did the out of the shower look, to see if anyone would notice. Then I faintly painted _very_ light blue above my eyes. I look femmy, and with that it was done in a extremely faint way.
The results? All women thought I just looked "great" for no reason. They didn't know I was wearing make up. Maybe I'll do it again. Who knows?
+Kmarxist Sorry to join the band wagon; I just have this nagging feeling that you make it your personal occupation to be intentionally malicious on a regular basis to people (of both genders) you've never met. Your business, obviously, not mine.
Just thought, as part of the generally make-up-less portion of the female population of North America, that I might be allowed to voice my two cents on the matter without having a stick of dynamite shoved in my ear to tick off the seconds before the drum and everything behind it explodes.
I have always believed that an individual is the metaphorical painting rather than the canvas. In other words, each person is beautiful without a bunch of added colours (I shudder just looking at peacock eyes...). However, a picturesque landscape setting, while complete and beautiful, is also pretty with a splash of Aurora Borealis swept across the night sky.
Simply put, if a person chooses to decorate themselves with clothes or jewellery or cosmetics, that is entirely their own business. Yes, the vast majority of retail cosmetics are made almost entirely out of hazardous materials, and yes, most people look better (to others) without it, and yes, it is a custom which by media publications can have dangerous repercussions on a person's psyche and their overall sense of self-worth pending the removal of the kabuki mask, but the decision to wear or not to wear remains their own and by the bombardment of ridicule and hateful judgement on their person and their personal choices you only aggravate the situation you claim to despise.
Here I will get a tad personal: Remember I said generally make-up-less? By that I mean near-abouts 90% of my days are spent "shame-faced" (really old term for no make-up). On the days that I do choose to don a little extra colour on my face, only a little brown or black liner accents my eyes. All it does is draw the other person's eye a little more solidly to my own. I don't do it because I have low self-esteem or because I want to make people like me better. I don't even do it because I want to look prettier. I do it just because I feel like it. Like spontaneously searching out some Foothill's ice cream and buying a triple waffle cone. There are many women like me in that regard. We don't spend a fortune: My very first eyeliner lasted me a good 7 years...
To top this off, I just have to say that tons of women are looking to switch out from store-bought chemical epicentres to home-made applications made from stupendously food-safe items like cocoa powder, beet juice, aloe vera gel, etc.
Cover vs Book
duh, what a smart comment. of course, dear John. Yes. I, member of the female species, am indeed happy, when people respect my personal choices in life and are kind to me. That happens quite often, actually. But could be even better.
We just can't win. Why can't men, or even women, just understand that a lot of women just like to wear makeup for themselves, not for others. Seriously, I care more about my own face than anyone else's. Even when I wear makeup, I rarely hear anyone say anything about it, and I'm not even fishing for compliments when I wear makeup. I just like to pretty up my face for those times when I look in the mirror or see my face in a picture. And speaking of pictures, to add to this, I also pay attention to how my face looks more than I pay attention to anyone else's in the photo. Wow, I'm not trying to sound vain, but I must be because I am sounding super vain right now, however, my point is a lot of women just like to wear makeup for themselves, and they don't need to have their makeup be everyone's business.
I don't wear makeup because it's expensive, I can't find the right shade for me, and I look fucking weird with it. I go from a 21-year-old who looks 13 wishing she looked 21, to looking like a 40-year-old trying to look 21 and failing miserably. Lol
But that's just me! You can wear makeup if you want to, and you can not wear makeup if you want to. Most guys can't tell the difference between light makeup and no makeup... and neither can I. Haha
I've had my bf do this a few times...when i get dolled up for him personally, he likes it, but when i put on make-up because i just feel like it, he'll say things like "well, you don't really need to" or "what, why?" type of thing. Confusing!
Mind-blowing how many asinine comments there are from women complaining about men who prefer women with no (or less) makeup.
It's just a preference. Some men like women with makeup on. Others don't. Is it any different than how some women prefer men with facial hair, and others don't? Looks like a double-standard to me.
I don't know, maybe I don't get it because I rarely wear any makeup, and when I do, it isn't anything beyond eyeliner and glossy chapstick.
I've been told once that I was hiding who I really was by wearing makeup and nice clothing, but I see it as the exact opposite, to be quite honest.
I'm a creative person. I always have been and when I try on new makeup and clothing, I see it as an expression of my creativity. Wearing nice clothing and makeup makes me feel good because I feel like myself. I'd probably feel less like myself if I were just wearing plain jeans and a t-shirt without jewelry or makeup.
Don't be stupid; men obviously tell women what to do with their bodies as they get all sorts of ass and boob implants, and dress however they think men want. That's the role of a woman... It's common biological sense. Men try to do what they think women like and women do what men like. Men say what they want, and if you don't do it, you don't get men... it's simple as that. This new-age independent bullshit is getting absurd. Why are these facts so "offensive"?! Wait?! women don't want a big fat dude with a harry back?! I should tell my guy friends to stop shaving their backs, because they need to be independent strong men.
+VikingII There's a bit of a difference between putting make up on your face/wearing particular clothes and undergoing a medically unnecessary and potentially risky surgical procedure. If the only way to get a man is to get yourself cut open and implant silicon (which can leak and poison you) into your body, such a man is not worth having.
I completely agree- You DO look older WITH make-up on. I think it is mostly because of the red lipstick. All dark-haired woman i have ever seen wearing red lipstick - have looked older that way, and the blond girls with red lipstick mostly look more "vulgar" - that is how i see it.
I hate when men say this. Most men can not tell the difference between "natural" makeup and no makeup. Which is what leads me to believe they do not really prefer women without makeup, they just prefer women with natural looking makeup.
though this guy wrote a lot of douche stuff. he has a point... you look better without makeup. don't understand me wrong. wear as much stuff on ur face as you want. pile it on ;) you look good with it but great without. fact! and the high bun suits you.
it's one thing to have that opinion and support your girlfriends that decide they don't want to wear make up, and it's another thing to tell a woman who wants to wear makeup and does it that she shouldn't wear it because YOU don't like it.
pro tip: she's not wearing it for you. She's doing it because she wants to. Just like you gel your hair because you want to. or because you grow a beard because you want to. So, unless she asks, she doesn't want your opinion so keep it to yourself.
Hello! This video has brought my feminist brain's struggle to light! Which is the battle of knowing I wear makeup for me, because it makes me feel better, while the feminist voice inside me telling me that my the reason my brain registers "fuller thicker lashes" , created by liner and mascara as more beautiful and attractive, as societal and not internal. Could you comment on the internal feminists battle with makeup? I feel like a traitor to my feminist brain!
+Moldovanca Here's some links that are about what you just said. Spoiler alter: you don't wear makeup 'for you'. It makes you feel better because you've been taught that your worth is tied to your attractiveness.
actually any of these posts would be great to read http://fuckyeah-radicalfeminism.tumblr.com/search/makeup
http://bellejar.ca/2014/05/14/shaving-your-legs-is-not-feminist-but-you-can-still-be-a-feminist-and-shave/ (replace all references to shaving with references to wearing makeup)
I stopped wearing makeup 2 or 3 years ago for health reason... but that is not the point. the point is you just copped the "i thought you were hot till.... i realized I'm shallow" burn message, and that sucks! beauty and self expression are not the same thing. I am getting sick of men thinking you get dressed in the morning with anyone in mind other then YOU. in the words of my very wise father "We're all born ignorant, and some people put in a lot of work to stay that way." maybe if this person were blind, he'd see you as the top 10! you really are.
Aww, I haz the feels too. I understand why you wear makeup for your videos, and I think it looks great on you. I appreciate the time and effort that goes into production. However, I appreciate a clean, raw face like what the guy in the letter was referring to. I stopped wearing makeup probably 8 years ago and I like to think it's attributing to my youthful appearance. Not rubbing minerals into my skin cells every day is my choice.
But yes, let's all agree with the guy in the letter, Cristen, you are more beautiful without makeup. :D
That's just so patronizing. No matter what I do with my make-up, my hair, my clothes, I've gotten it from all genders "Oh, you would look so great if..." "I bet your partner would love..." "Men like girls who..." It's like, bitch I don't care! I feel good about myself, why do you have to ruin it?
I don't really wear make up that much anymore, though, when some one tries to get you to stop doing things that make you feel good, it annoys me.
Especially guys because they don't generally use make up and can't tell if you're wearing only a little bit.
If you can't tell when I'm trying to look nice by wearing make up, why would I try to impress you by not wearing make up?
I see make-up as just another way to accessorize and express yourself. I do not think it is necessary. We don't need guys telling us that. Telling us that we are pretty without make-up is assuming we feel insecure and that the reason we wear it is b/c we are trying to please others. While this can be the case, it is not fair to women to generalize and assume we are insecure.
Can you please make a video on "cat fights " and how they started calling it that and also on Mrs and Miss, the whole concept behin being considered a señorita when you still" belong" to your dad and being a Señora when you are now married and "belong" to your husband. Thank you I love you and your videos!
You see guys can't win. Tell her she's pretty is no good, tell her she's prettier without makeup is no good. Can you advise guys on what they should say like....wow that makeup job looks great. I had a g/f years ago who didn't wear any. Once she came to my office and her eyes were all made up and all I could say was WOW, what did you do? You look great. I think that was last time she did it.
+alg11297 Do you mean you genuinely liked your g/f's makeup but you don't know why she didn't do it again? Maybe she just couldn't be bothered or she didn't agree that she looked great?
Regarding how to 'win'.. I'd suggest that what this guy did wrong was (1) assume that she wanted his opinion - it's really weird to give a stranger your opinion of their appearance when you think about it, and (2) deliver his opinion in such a rude and insulting way, complete with a rating out of ten.
My advice would be to only give your opinion on people's appearance to those who would want it and to speak to them respectfully in the way you'd like to be spoken to yourself :)
Your "wow that makeup job looks great" suggestion sounds good to me!
Thanks for this video. It gets at some fundamental and problematic beliefs or assumptions:
That women should value what men think of their appearance and that women naturally want to tailor their appearance to please men.
That women rely on and internalize the judgement and opinions of men, especially a male perception of their beauty.
That one single individual's opinion is important and valid enough to actually to tell someone what to do (with her face, among other things).
That humans beings can be rated numerically.....
That it is important for women to be as beautiful as possible.....
My question is:Why does people rate our looks and tell us how to look and dont look. I understand the fella wanted to be nice to you and thought he was doing a great deal. What i mean is: No matter how women looks, if we wear makeup or not, there is always people that feel they have rights to comment how we look. My look isn´t my own, as a woman my look is everyones business.But we should be able to choose for ourselves how to dress and what to wear.Have makeup or no makeup. It´s my body and my business. I shouldn´t care what guys thinks im nice in or not. I´m dressing for my self and not for anyone else. (I´m sorry that my grammar isn´t great, but i´m from Sweden and usually speaks and writes Swedish.
i (somehow)kind of take issue with your "cynical" answer. I obviously agree that men often have problematic intentions when saying something like this, but i think it would be pretty sad if someone really means it to put him down like that.
and maybe his base assumption is, that you don't like to put on make up and that you do it only for the men (which i don't share) then he wouldn't tell you what to do, he tries to free you from something he thinks you don't like either way...
i understand your reaction, but its a bit harsh ithink.
have a nice day :).
I've read many comments about men's preference and commenter's personal preference. There's nothing wrong with having preferences. Everyone has them. What you're missing is that your preferences are part on a constant dialog on how women should look. Plus men that go out of their way to tell a woman what he likes tend to put down and Freud up any woman with looks that lie outside of his preference.